What to do, What to do?

September 20, 2006

Our son’s second birthday is coming up in just a few days.  I had really wanted to send a letter, some photos and a dvd of home movies to the orphanage in case his birth mother comes to see if there is any updated information about him.  Unfortunately my laptop, which I actually know how to use is still “in the shop.”  Thank goodness for Husband’s foresight in purchasing the extended warranty, but I just have to wonder if they haven’t given my laptop to an infinite number of monkeys to whom they are giving an infinite amount of time to get the work done.  So I haven’t figured out how to work with this whirring beast of a desk top to print off some decent photos and, though I wrote a letter to the birth mom, I was never quite happy enough with it to send it off.  

What do you say to the woman who gave birth to your child?  “Thank you” just doesn’t seem to cover it.  How much detail would she want, and how much would be too hurtful to read?  I haven’t been able to figure that out, because I have never been in her situation and I know virtually nothing about her.

Now it’s really too late to have anything delivered to Korea by his birthday.  Not that I know she’ll come looking for information then, it’s just that I probably would if I were in her place.

There is another option, though.  I found that the orphanage/reception center/whatever-you-want-to-call-it  has an English website with an email address to contact them directly.  Hmmm . . . interesting.

See, it was made very clear to us throughout the adoption process that we were in no way to contact the orphanage in Korea because it would supposedly make it look like the agency here in American is incompetent, and could cause a rift in the relationship between the two agencies.  Supposedly.

Honestly, we weren’t really thrilled with the agency here in America, which is why we are not using them for our current adoption.  We caught them in more than one lie and, even when they weren’t lying, they were being evasive, or annoyed.  If they are going to be annoyed when I am paying them to facilitate an adoption, how are they going to act if I ask them to deliver a letter for me now?

Aside from our less-than-stellar relationship with that adoption agency we have another motivation for contacting the agency directly.  When the time comes that Husband actually travels to Vietnam for the next baby he will, most likely, have a layover in Seoul, South Korea.  We are toying with the idea of trying to get him an extended layover so that he could, possibly, meet with the birth mother.  If she is interested.  I figure the fewer middle-men involved in that whole process, the better.  We have enough connections that we could probably get a free translator, so why involve any agency, let alone two, if we don’t have to?

So I’m thinking I’ll just send a short email to Korea letting them know that Tank Boy is doing fine (you expect Asian children to be a bit smaller, but really, they’re not always), and to ask them to pass our email address on to the birth mom if she should come looking for information. 

I wonder if I’m opening a can of worms?

And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt says hello.

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