And I Think To Myself, What A Wonderful World

November 29

Yesterday I received two telephone calls and one letter from three different ambulance chasers who have apparently gotten their hands on a copy of the police report from my post-Thanksgiving auto accident before I have (not that I’ve tried, yet). 

 The letter was from a law office that is apparently willing to represent me, should I need it, even though they aren’t even located in my area.  They are at least a full hour away.

 The phone calls were both from area clinics interested in helping me assess and recover from my injuries.  You have to hand it to them, they really tried to sound happy for me when I said I wasn’t hurt and already have a doctor anyway.  The one went so far as to tell me how glad she was for me, inquire about the damage to my vehicle, agree that I am really lucky, and then reminded me that it can sometimes take weeks for symptoms to develop.  This, after she opened the conversation by informing me that I could be entitled to monetary compensation for pain and suffering.

 Umm . . . oooo . . . ouch.  I think I just felt a vertebrae snap.  Dang those slowly developing broken necks.

 Seriously, this all left me fascinated in a very sad way.  Since the accident I have spent a fair amount of time feeling bad for the driver who rear-ended me.  She just went out to do some Christmas shopping for her kids and now her entire holiday budget may get eaten up by insurance deductibles.  With the way the traffic was in that area at that time, all I can say is, there but for the grace of God, a safer distance, and a quicker reaction time go I.  Plus, her car was left crippled and bleeding and had to be taken away on a stretcher.  Mine went, “Ouch, that’s gonna leave a bruise.”  Then I start getting calls and letters from strangers who want me to be a victim for their benefit.

 So, a big shout-out to my new circle of friends, the ambulance chasers, who are out there pounding the pavement day after day, doing their best to right the world’s wrongs by ever-so-subtly contributing to our society’s heartless sense of entitlement.

 Hey, is grouchiness one of those delayed symptoms she was talking about?

 And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt says hello.  And he promises not to sue you.

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