Drum roll please . . . the award for first Cootervillian Ambulance Chaser to Respond to the Scene goes to . . . and I am not making this up . . . Dr. Ted’s office.
Now, I am not good at writing in dialect, so please, as you read this, imagine Dr. Ted’s representatvie sounding as if he had just hiked several miles out of the Deep Hillbilly Woods to find a pay phone and call me:
“Hey E.! How ‘r yuh?” (he was very friendly)
“I’m fine, thank you.”
This is Dr. Ted’s office and we was just callin’ to see how yur doin’ afder yur car accident.”
“I’m fine, really.”
“Good tuh hear, good tuh hear. We jus’ thought mebee you had some stifnees in yur neck ur back.”
“No, thank you, I’m just fine.”
“Nope, no more than usual.” (I am, unfortunately, prone to migraines).
“Well, uh.k. then. You have yurself a good’un.” (said with contagious enthusiasm)
Say what you will about those of Cooterish descent, but they are a very friendly lot. When I initially answered the phone and he said hello and asked how I was doing, I was under the impression I was talking to some long-lost high school friend, or maybe my old boyfriend. Who knows, maybe he’s working for Dr. Ted these days.
And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt says Howdy y’all!