Tip of the Week

March 18

Tip of the Week

When your seven year old asks, “Mom, why did I name this doll Blue Barb?”  do not laugh and respond with, “Because you took compassion on her and didn’t name her The Ugliest Doll In The World.”

It won’t go over well.

Yes, I should have known better.  Yes, I was once a seven-year-old, doll-loving girl.  Yes, friends, lurkers, and those who tolerate my presence on the internet because that pesky first amendment thing says you have to, I was insensitive.

Honestly, I am usually very sensitive with my children; but really, without crossing your fingers behind your back, can you tell me this doll doesn’t look like she should be starring in her own horror movies?

Here is where I do that annoying email trick to make sure you don’t see the picture too soon, thereby ruining the question:

Can you really tell me this doll doesn’t look like she should be starring in her own horror movies?

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So right now you’re thinking one of two things:

1.  AAAAaaaaaaaa!  My eyes, my eyes!!!  What was that thing?!?!?

or

2.  How can that horrible woman make fun of her sweet little daughter’s beloved dolly?

Well, it’s like this, I just call ’em as I see ’em, and this is what I’ve been seeing lately:

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What is that creepy doll doing??????????

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Noooooooo!!!! Not the dog!!!!!

Well, gentle readers, that one got away; but it’s not looking too good for this one:

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I think Blue Barb really has it in for the dogs:clip_image005

Truthfully, however, I never know where I’m going to find her and her knife.  I don’t think her evil plots are reserved for the animals only:clip_image006

Seriously, would you want to have to cook in this kitchen?

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Right, so I really need to clean the mud splatter off of those closet doors (or, better yet, replace them — they’re ugly); but geesh, you just never know when she’s going to jump out at you with that knife!  I prefer a little bit of dirt to a whole lot of blood.

Judge me if you want, but just remember, you don’t have to live in a house with BLUE BARB. (cue creepy, evil music)

And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt says hello (from his panic room).

8:29 PM | Add a comment | Read comments (4) | Permalink | Trackbacks (0) | Blog it | Blue Barb

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