Notes From the Road (Saturday, May 26)

May 28

Notes From the Road (Saturday, May 26)

Last night we went to Ha Long Bay.

Ha, ha!  Not the real Ha Long Bay, the one in Columbus, Ohio.  The real Ha Long Bay is probably much more scenic, but it’s also a much longer trip.  The one in Ohio is a restaurant and the trip was much more doable with four kids.  It was so neat to get to meet some of my favorite bloggers (ha, my spell check wanted to change that to “boogers”) in person.  Of course, the kids kept me busy, so I didn’t get to visit with everyone as much as I wanted, but still, it was fun.

Now I believe they are all hanging at the Asian Festival today, but we couldn’t stay.  I wanted to, I really did.  Even though it is supposed to rain.  But this is our weekend to take a grand tour of the Midwest and we are now on our way to visit The Pretty People in a more western portion of the Midwest.  Yes, McH comes from a whole family of good looking folks.  They won’t all be there, which is probably good because I don’t think my self-esteem is that high, but his mother lives there.  For now.  Not for long.  Which is why we’re going to visit now.

I thought I’d share some observations that I’ve made thus far along the road (and more as they arise) and then, when I get somewhere where someone has an unsecured wireless connection, I’ll post it all for your enjoyment.

Observation One:

Ohio must be the road pizza capitol of the world.  I have found out that this is because the state implemented a road kill policy (they probably actually use the word carrion, but whatever) wherein they do not remove dead animals from the road.  Or the side of the road.  Ohio also has a lot of deer, most of which are dead on the side of or in the middle of the road.  This is not fun when traveling with a truckload of sensitive little girls, but I’m sure that wasn’t taken into consideration when deciding to let the dead critters rot where they died.

Observation Two:

A few miles back we passed a billboard for Miller Light Beer.  About 1/3 of the billboard was taken up with a picture of the beer can, and the other 2/3’s had great big letters reading: Kid Rock.
I am not a drinker, so I don’t know, but does this really make people want to drink Miller Light?  Is it just me, or does that man not look like a venereal disease personified?  I know, I know, I’m mean.  But c’mon.  Kid Rock.  Ewwwwwww!!!!  I saw him on one of the CSI shows a while back and felt the need to get vaccinated for everything afterwards.

I briefly had access to an unsecured network thanks to the good folks of Muncie, but I lost it before I could connect.   That just means more observations before I get to post.  Aren’t you happy?

Observation Three:

After almost 10 years of schlepping girls into and out of disgusting public restrooms from Washington D.C. to Phoenix, AZ, I find I’m deriving an almost vindictive pleasure from the fact that, on this road trip, Tank Boy is using the potty.  Here you go, McH, have a travel sized spray can of Lysol!  Ahhh, the torch has been passed.  Or, at least, shared.

Observation Four:

If your spouse is too chauvinistic or chivalrous, or whatever, to relinquish the driver’s seat to you, by all means Do Not Feel Guilty.  Just sleep.  You deserve it.

Observation Five:

Hanging on a fence which surrounded a somewhat dilapidated barn in the middle of Nowhere Farmland USA was a sign:  I can’t wait to get to civilization so I can see what that’s all about.  I thoroughly expect to see pictures of snorkeling cows and will be greatly disappointed if I don’t.  Greatly.

Observation Six:

Given all the furrowed dirt and livestock around here, you’d think it would be easier to find a good country station on the radio.

Observation Seven:

There are not a lot of wireless networks available in BFE.  This is why it is now Monday and I have yet to publish this post.

Observation Eight:

Wendy’s Asian salads smoke McDonald’s Asian salads.  There are, unfortunately,  a lot more McDonald’s along the interstate.

Observation Nine:

Traffic has been unusually light, given it is a holiday weekend and all.  I guess we’re one of the few, the proud, and the stupid seeing as how we’ve paid all this money for gasoline.  But I’m glad we did.  We had a good visit.

Observation Ten:

I’m kissing the ground of civilization!  Not home yet, mind you, but I have access!!!  Real, wireless access!!!  I’m going to post this right now!!! 

I’ll post a bit about the blogger dinner tomorrow.

And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt says hello.

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