Long, Rambling, Braggardly Post

June 13

Long, Rambling, Braggardly Post

Right, so I have no idea if braggardly is a word.  Probably not (see, obviously I really did have an idea), but I’m using it anyway.  My blog, my rules.

Remember that enrichment meeting thing I was planning?  The one for which I was making a spot quote quiz and asked you all to send me your favorite quotes.  Thanks, by the way, to the very, very few of you who responded to that plea for help — insert sigh of martyrdom here — and a special thanks to my sister who sent me a quote without the reference to see if I could get it.  Geesh, the whole point of asking for quotes was so that I wouldn’t have to look them up or tax my own brain in any way!  Anyway, it was from Much Ado About Nothing.

Moving on.  So I put together a spot quote quiz and took it to church Sunday, had a million copies made, and then showed them to some other people from the book club.  The vote was unanimous:  it was too difficult.  So I made an easier one.  Here it is.  How many can you get?  And NO googling the quotes:

Name That Quote

1. Call me Ishmael.

2. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

3. Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

4. It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

5. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.

6. Somewhere in la Mancha, in a place whose name I do not care to remember, a gentleman lived not long ago, one of those who has a lance and ancient shield on a shelf and keeps a skinny nag and a greyhound for racing.

7. I had the story, bit by bit, from various people, and, as generally happens in such cases, each time it was a different story.

8. He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish.

9. It was a pleasure to burn.

10. “It will serve you right if that sly piece does accept one of you,” she said. “Or maybe she’ll accept both of you, and then you’ll have to move to Utah, if the Mormons’ll have you – which I doubt . . .


A Tale of Two Cities       Gone With the Wind      1984                    The Old Man and the Sea

Pride and Prejudice       Ethan Frome                  Fahrenheit 451

Don Quixote                  Anna Karenina               Moby Dick

The high score on the quiz was 8.  Well, actually, there were book club members who got more (even though we haven’t read a single one of these books for book club).  The woman who got 8 is a high school English teacher.

But how was the rest of the evening, you ask?  A smashing success.  At least, that’s what I know right now.  Tomorrow I may find out that 17 and a half people were highly offended, but tonight I just heard good stuff.

We had a book exchange and people brought in books.  Lots of books.  Good books, even.  I took home many books for my kids (I can’t believe people get rid of good books that look like they’ve only been read once!).  I took home a couple of books for myself.  People were walking out with arm loads of books.  It was great.  Of course, there were even more left over, but we’ve got a place to donate them lined up, so all’s good.

But the highlight of the evening would be the skits.  Oh my gosh!  We took five books we’ve read over the past years and did little skits that somehow reflected a scene or theme from each book.  I wrote some uber serious, Masterpiece Theatre-like narration to introduce each skit and then all of these amazing women put together some hilarious skits (o.k., I came up with one of those, too) and the contrast between the serious, educational stuff and the lighthearted, funny skits pretty much encapsulated our book club:  it’s supposed to be serious, but we really just have fun.

And, of course, what is book club without food?  Seriously?  We decided to have refreshments that somehow (loosely) reflected the five books we highlighted.  Here was our menu:

The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio:  Spam, Jell-O mold, huge sub sandwich
Jane Eyre: cucumber sandwiches, Yorkshire pudding
To Kill a Mockingbird: biscuits, red velvet cake
Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde: smoking punch and kitty litter cake
Harry Potter: chocolate frogs, canary creams, butter beer (what?  something with the word “beer” at an LDS function?), pumpkin patsies (or whatever they are called, though I’m fairly certain it’s not pumpkin pasties) and steak and kidney(bean) pie.

It was fun.  People kept telling me what a great job I’d done.  I kept thinking, “I hardly did anything.”  I have served in many ways in my church for many years.  Our previous congregation was small and and, frankly, downtrodden.  When I was in charge of an activity (which was often since I was the Relief Society president, for those who know what that means) I felt like I did tons.  Tons and tons.  This time I just wrote a few things, coordinated stuff, and everyone else did the rest.  And it. was. great.   So I was a success without doing much of anything.  Wow!  I could use me a little more of that.

So, while I was at the church tonight I talked to the Relief Society president, for those who know what that means, about my Bath and Body Works bag idea.  That, too, was quite well received.  Now the trick is getting the bags.

You see, unlike the apparently trusting and generous folks at Robeez who have been sending boxes of shoes to everybody who asks, Bath and Body Works cannot donate anything.  No, that has to come through their parent company.  And the parent company doesn’t donate to individuals.  They only donate to non-profits with tax exempt numbers.  Not that I blame them, being the cynic I am and all.

“So, do you want me to follow up on it then or do you want to since you’ve already contacted them?” the RS president asks me.

“Oh, I’ll do it,” I say.  “I just need our tax number to submit the application.”

“O.K.  Well, your husband should have that,” she says.

“Wha?  My hus?”  Oh yeah.  He’s the congregation’s financial clerk.  Duh.

So maybe the church can get some bags.  I’m also hoping our agency will like the bag idea and maybe get some for all of the waiting parents to fill up and take over when they travel.  We can all just make the world a better place, one bag at a time.

We shall see.

And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt says hello.

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