In Which I Throw Around A Lot of LDS Terminology

October 28

In Which I Throw Around A Lot of LDS Terminology

And don’t take the time to explain it.

Today was High Council Sunday.  The high council speaker assigned to our ward is actually a member of our ward.  He shared the story urban legend story of some high council speaker somewhere who, true to form, droned on a good 10 minutes past the time Sacrament meeting should be over.  Finally, some two-year-old in the congregation reportedly stood up on the pew and yelled, “Amen!  Go home!”

True to form, our high council speaker went on a good 10 minutes past the appointed end time for Sacrament meeting.  Not true to form, however, was the fact that this man kept us all on the edge of our seats.  I mean, how often do you hear the word enema spoken from the pulpit?  You see, he felt the need to tell us a bit about his personal history (no, no, no, NOT his medical history), and so shared that for the first three years of his marriage he and his wife lived somewhere in New York state.

“You know the expression people often use about places being the armpit of the United States?” he said.  “Well, if God wanted to give the world and enema, he would have done it right where we lived.”

So, yes, here was this gray-haired grandpa (though really, late 50’s probably) who just implied to the entire congregation that he lived in the a** hole of the world.

Who can sleep after that?!?  No, we were all wide awake, waiting with great anticipation to find out what the whole point of his talk actually was, and whether or not he was going to further mortify his wife, the Relief Society President.

I wonder if next Sunday will top today?  After all, next Sunday is Fast and Testimony meeting, or, as I like to call it, Open Mic Sabbath.

O.K., well, enough about church.  Gender selection survey results are forthcoming.  Seriously.  I promise.  I’ve written most of the post, but I didn’t finish.  I got side tracked cutting and pasting blog entries from here to my WordPress blog.  It is a race to see if I finish that arduous process before Spaces figures out that they need to create a way to password protect individual posts, and let non-spaces users leave comments.  Yes, just because I said so.

After the gender selection results, I hope to post something about my thoughts on God, adoption and why I don’t like the terms “First Mom” and “Second Mom”.  Heck, I don’t like “Third Mom” either (the term, that is).  It is something I’ve been wanting to write for a long, long time.  I’ve actually written it a couple of times, but I have never been happy with what I’ve written.  Not that I don’t believe what I’ve written, just that I don’t think I’ve done it justice.  So, anyway, stay tuned for that one.

Oh, and one more random thing:  my agency completed our I600 form last Wednesday, emailed it to us, we signed multiple copies of it and over-nighted them back first thing Thursday morning so that the agency could FedEx them out Friday.  They should already be on their way to their Vietnamese destination.  Keeping our fingers crossed but our hopes in check.

And George, if you’re out there, you missed a great Sacrament meeting today.

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