My Broken Vampire

Okay, I know I’m sounding like a broken record, or like I’m getting free stuff for publicizing this book (I am not *sigh*), but if you haven’t yet read Stephenie Meyer’s book Twilight, then go read it now.  If you have read it and haven’t had a hard time not fantasizing about your husband being a vampire then . . . well . . . I’m sorry.

Obviously, my husband is a vampire.  And I am not alone.

At any rate, my vampire is broken.  Well, more accurately, was broken.  This morning he was fixed.

Awwwww . . . now that didn’t come out right.

Anyway, he had his back surgery, it went well, the ruptured disk is no longer pressing up against his sciatic nerve, but the surgeon says we’ll need to keep an eye on it for the next few years because, “that disk is weak.”

Umm, you think?  It was severely herniated and ruptured.  At any rate, it is now all nipped and tucked and I will go retrieve him from the hospital in the morning.  He has some pain but hasn’t needed or taken any meds since coming out of recovery, and he is moving around okay.  He will go back to work later this week but I will sit on him to keep him down as much as possible if need be so that he can recover more fully before, you know, before GOING TO VIETNAM!  Which the doctor and the nurses said he should be up for by the time it happens IN ABOUT TWO WEEKS!

Ahem.

A little story from the hospital today (and don’t feel sorry for him, I told him I was going to blog this, and he laughed and said, “I know you will.”  Of course, he was laughing a lot post-op, so I think it might have had something to do with the drugs working out of his system, but whatever).

Where was I?  Oh yes, the story:

Shortly after being transferred to the very small room where he is currently residing in the hospital, his nurse, who was in her 20s and with whom he had been flirting quite a bit (again with the drugs) came in and said she needed “a sample.”

Having just had back surgery he was a bit concerned about how this was all to be accomplished, but she told him he could get up and walk to the bathroom whenever he was ready.  “Just let me know, and I’ll help,” she said with a smile on her face.

Well, no time like the present.  So she gladly started instructing him on how to roll to his side, which arm and leg to use for leverage and how, etc.  When he was sitting up she had him hold on to her and instructed him to stand up.

And he did.

“Come on,” she said, “I need you to stand up all the way.  Stand up straight.”

“I am,” he said, because he was.

“Oh,” she giggled as she finally really looked at him standing before her, “for some reason I expected you to be tall.”

Really, it’s okay:  bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!  See, you can laugh.  Even he did.

So my vampire husband is on the mend and one big thing hanging over our heads can now be crossed off the list of insane stressors in our lives.  It feels good.  So very, very good.  And words can’t describe how relieved I am that the surgery went well, because I am insanely in love with all 5 feet 6&1/4 inches of him.

And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt says hello.

ps to Dianna:  Everyone is more than welcome to swear in abbreviations on my blog as long as we are all in agreement that WTF=what the frap.  Hee hee.

12 thoughts on “My Broken Vampire

  1. So glad the surgery went well and that you can cross it off your list. And thank you for always making me laugh just when I need it most! Poor McH!

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  2. So glad that the surgery went well. Funny story! One time my dad had surgery and when we was coming off of the drugs he was being crazy with the nurses. I mean, really flirting with them and we were all in the room. He was so embarrassed when we told him about it.

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  3. This is hilarious (the story, I mean)! My hubby is 5’8″ – when we were in VN, he felt so tall. Once we got back to LAX, he looked around and said seriously, “Geez. Everyone here is so big.” I’m so glad the surgery went well and that McH is leaving in TWO weeks. Great news!

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  4. It’s good to hear the surgery went well. I hope that his recovery goes well and quick.

    Okay, I do love vampire books and at some point I may have to actually read this book that you keep pushing.

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  5. Dianna

    I’ve ordered the book 🙂

    Feel better McH! Short or tall, you’ve got an important mission coming up!

    P.S. Whew… so glad swearing is okay *lol*

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  6. Dianna

    Oh, and you should also start the Undead and Unwed series by Mary Janice Davidson. The wicked humor more than makes up for the vampire theme. Hey, who wouldn’t want a Queen of the Undead who can be bribed with ridiculously expensive shoes???

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  7. That’s SO funny!! The only surgery Trav has ever had was the one related to our (not to be relied upon for BC) fertility issue…and he was flirting like crazy with his urologist (a man). Hahaha!! But even when the drugs wore off, I’m pretty sure the crush has lasted; when we found out we were pregnant, he asked if “Dr. Mortkin could be the godfather!” Heehee!

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  8. I’m so glad everything went well. And I’m so excited that Quinn is actually coming home! It looks like everything is just falling into place so nicely for you guys. House, surgery and trip.

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