Mormon Monday Will Be Brought To You By The Letter Tuesday

I know what you are thinking:

Lady!  Tuesday isn’t a letter!

And now you are speed dialing the National Education Association to ask them why they don’t work harder to keep idiots like me from home schooling their children.

And I’m speed dialing them to ask why they published an anti-home-schooling opinion piece written by a janitor.  Not that janitors can’t be lovely, intelligent people; but, given their pro public school, certified teacher stance, I would think the NEA would be publishing things written by people with some sort of, oh, I don’t know, credentials?

For the record, I know Tuesday is not a letter, but right now I just. don’t. care.

It’s been one of those days.

You know, one of those days when you think you’ve found a hickey on  your shoulder so you need to caution your husband to be a little less . . . umm . . . a little more . . . umm . . . so you need to caution  your husband, but then you realize it couldn’t possibly be a hickey (*sigh*) and . . . oh yeah . . . it’s where the baby bit you.

One of those days where you spend some time on the computer designing T-shirts for  yourself and the best you come up with this:


          Cleaning Up Excrement



Hmmm . . . the font didn’t copy and paste right.  It really looks better with the original font.  *Sigh*  It’s just one of those days.

You know, one of those days when you thought up that T-shirt because you had to clean up three near misses near made-its off the bathroom floor.  Two kids, three incidents, and not a can of Lysol anywhere in the house.

I guess I should be happy for them that life is so exciting they just don’t want to take a break from it to go to the bathroom.  I’m to the point in life where, sometimes, the bathroom is the highlight of my day.  I shan’t elaborate.

To be honest, McH cleaned up the third near made-it.  Martha Stewart would say, “It’s a good thing,” but Martha probably saves that line for accomplishments that  require a little more skill than home HAZMAT duty.

At least now we’re both qualified to write for the NEA

And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt is shopping for disinfectant.

11 thoughts on “Mormon Monday Will Be Brought To You By The Letter Tuesday

  1. Nancy

    Parade magazine has an online survey this week on whether people think parents should be required to have teaching certifications to home-school their children.

    When I voted Sunday afternoon it was running 91% HECK NO and 9% WE’RE STUPID.

    Vote at


  2. Oh I love your posts. Always give me the laugh I need just when I need it most (which if ever there was a moment, it is this one). Sorry to hear about your day, I guess at least I’ve got that going for me that it wasn’t a part of my day too …


  3. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, you crack me up! Sorry it’s been a bad day. You know they say bad things come in three’s. I am pretty sure the 3 near made-its have got you covered for a while!


  4. myminivanrocks

    Zoe introduced me to the sport of turd-fishing last weekend. The worst part: I was in the tub with her!


  5. We haven’t had any near made-its around here in a really long time, thank goodness. Not too long ago, I did have a daughter vomit down the hall. Not even close to the bathroom, though. Hope tomorrow’s better and doesn’t bring the local school district knocking on your door.


  6. Oh, wow. Who would think a custodian could write such blatant propaganda?

    Of course, he’s never been through teaching courses to know just how brainless they are. (The courses, not the teachers–although I had my fair share of those, too).


  7. I would like to invite Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs to my house…I could certainly hook him up with some “dirty work” for his show. Being a Mom certainly has it’s moments of disgust doesn’t it? I love the puking/diarreah bugs… they truly stretch the limits of human capacity to cope. My thoughta re with you. Have mop will travel:-)


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