What Is Wrong With My Children?

You know, when I was a kid and I’d walk into a room only to “catch” my parents smooching, or if they’d just start spontaneously smooching in whatever room I was already in, I would have the decency to become mortified and embarrassed, and quickly hie to the farthest point in the house from aforementioned public displays of affection.

That is what a kid is supposed to do, right?  Either that or be totally grossed out and race to the bathroom?

But my abnormal children?  Noooooooooooooooo . . .

L~: “Hey mom, did  you notice in this Menard’s ad that it looks like it’s saying ‘men yard’s’ but it’s just missing the y.  If you put a y in there it would say ‘men yard’s, not ‘Menard’s'”

A~: “I can’t wait until we read this next Lemony Snicket book.  I wonder if the Baudelaires will . . . blah blah blah blah blah.”

Excuuuuuuse me?!?  What?!?  Are your father (with the quite Edward Cullenish hair at this point) and I not standing here sucking face just a little bit?  Why don’t the two of  you get mortified or vomit in  your mouth or something appropriate like that????  You know, something appropriate which involves you leaving the room for a few minutes and coming back tentatively and subdued, not sure if life as you know it is safe, if the universe if off kilter, if the sun will indeed rise in the morning, or if your parents might still be making out in the kitchen???

Oh well.  Off to read The Vile Village to my kids.

And George . . .

8 thoughts on “What Is Wrong With My Children?

  1. rainbowmom

    ewwww. To this very day I can’t stand to see my parents kissing. And they still do! My kids are funny. Different ones have different reactions to me and husband. The baby thinks it’s hilarious, the middle two run and hide, and the oldest just rolls her eyes.

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  2. Hmm, perhaps they see you two sucking face so frequently in their presence they’re completely desensitized to it? Or don’t want to give you the satisfaction of finding it ucky? Or just think the two of you are so loving and sweet together they have developed an appreciation for it? 🙂

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  3. Perhaps the “men yard’s”/lemony snickett non-sequiters were just a last ditch attempt at controllling the scene and MAKING THE HORROR STOP?

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  4. I’m happy to report that my children are all perfectly normal. Keith and I use PDA frequently as a device to remove kids from the whatever space we’d like to have to ourselves. 🙂

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  5. Ha ha ha! That’s hilarious. Although your post is bringing me back to a scary, scary place when I was 13 and *almost* walked in on something…well, that’s all I’m gonna say, but I’ve assumed the fetal position and I’m shaking and it’s all your fault! 🙂

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