Spoiler-Free Review of Breaking Dawn

But first, The Staircase:




As seen from the second story balcony.

(Note the crepe paper and balloons festooning the banister for the sake of the release party.  I can assure you I’ll do a much better job of decorating should we ever have a wedding reception here).




As seen from the bottom of the staircase.  I had to stand there for a minute waiting for the stairs to clear because I didn’t want anyone to think I was trying to get a butt shot.  Especially that teenage guy . . .

Anyway, there are actually two of these staircases in the store.  One on the east and one on the west.  Or maybe it’s one on the north end and one on the south end.  Who knows.  I don’t exactly carry a compass into the bookstore.


Onto the review:

My various reactions to the first half of the book (in no particular order):

“Umm . . . okey dokey then . . .”
“Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!  Geeze, I hope that was supposed to be funny.  Hmm . . . maybe not.”
“Is she trying to make me hate this book?”
“Holy crap!  NO!  FREAKING! WAY!  Wrong on so many levels.”
“I’ve heard better names made from Boggle than that!  Oh please, don’t make me read that  name over and over and over for this many hundred pages!  Was she drunk when she came up with that?  Couldn’t be, she’s LDS . . . what was she thinking?  That is soooo stupid.”
“Is this really supposed to be part of the same series?”
“Maybe Stephenie Meyer was hospitalized for months and months and months so they just hired a ghost writer.”
“I think I may burn all four books once I’m done with this one.  I’m so over this series.”

My various reactions starting around the second half of the book, up to the end:

“Now this is more like it.”
“Hmmm . . . pretty cool.”
“Hot.  Hot, hot, hot.”
“Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!  I know that was supposed to be funny.  Ahh . . . Emmett.”
“I believe Jacob just redeemed himself in my eyes.”
“Oh no, is she going to kill them off?  Which ones?  How many?  Maybe not . . . I hope not.  I hopenotIhopenotIhopenot.”
“Can’t put it down!  Can’t put it down!!!!”
“I might cry . . . that was perfect!  Perfect!”
“Now that I’m done, I understand the whole purpose of this series.  This is fabulous.”

Don’t get me wrong, I still think Miss Stephanie needs a better editor and, perhaps, a thesaurus, but despite the cheesy contrived feeling of the first half or so of the book, she really pulled it out and pulled it all together in the second half.  I still love this series.

End spoiler-free book review, back to the party:  We weren’t the oldest people there!  Granted, most of the non-teenagers who were there were parents who drove their kids out and then sat tucked away in one corner of the store reading other books (blasphemy!  if you’re going to read anyway, why not read what your kid is so excited about and celebrate with her??????).  But there were other non-teenage fans.  Two of them were even in prom dresses for the event.  At any rate, we got to talk to some fun teenage girls who wished their moms were as cool as we are.  :o)

And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt is going to go catch up on some lost sleep.  And maybe knock down a house.  *Snort*

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6 thoughts on “Spoiler-Free Review of Breaking Dawn

  1. Erin

    You read my mind with your assessment of the book. I was pretty close to stopping reading it after the first 300 pages, I pretty much hated it too, but then the shift was dramatic and it was back to the feel of the Twilight books I know and love. We weren’t the oldest people at our release party either, but my husband was one of only about 10 guys in the whole store.

    Glad you guys had fun!


  2. haha. That’s *exactly* what I was thinking as I was reading. I could have done without the Jacob side – I pretty much hated the Jacob side and was ready to throw the book out the window, but the last half of the book was fabulous. But seriously, what was up with that NAME?!?!? Did she really have to keep correcting everyone about it?


  3. Wow! Thank you for summing up so perfectly my feelings on Breaking Dawn! I actually had to take a break about halfway through because I wasn’t sure if I could take it anymore! Fortunately I didn’t throw in the towel (like I really could have!) because the last half of the book was worth it! And you are right, that name was so horrendous I couldn’t bring myself to read it over and over again! Really, what WAS she thinking!?! Haha!

    Glad you had fun at the release party! Wish I had known you were coming down. I would have happily joined the “old lady brigade!”


  4. Hello, I want to see some pictures, please! Did you wear a prom dress? (And what’s with prom dresses, anyway — is that a part of the series I forgot somehow, or is that just usual book release garb?)


  5. OK. Read it on the plane, all of it (well, it was 21 hours on the plane). Wow, that name is truly horrible! I kept prouncing it “Resume” in my head. I’ve always been a bigger fan of Jacob than you are; I’m glad you’re coming around. What was the “Holy crap! NO! FREAKING! WAY! Wrong on so many levels” part for you?


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