I Like Country Music Because?

I used to detest country music.  I would mock it mercilessly.  I would avoid it like the plague.  I wanted nothing to do with the twangy tunes about men falling off bar stools and wishing their women would come back. 

In my mind, country music = low class.

I married my husband despite the fact he is four years younger, didn’t yet have a degree, and he listened to country music.

Then, shortly before my 30th birthday, my good friend turned me on to the Dixie Chicks.  That song about Earl cracked me up.  I gradually began listening to other country tunes and found a lot of them really had good, uplifting messages.  I found a lot of them (Brad Paisley) were also pretty hilarious.  I mean, it’s okay to sing about ticks as long as the singer isn’t taking himself seriously.

So at times I find myself wondering what I ever had against country music to begin with.  Sure, the old stuff, the country music of my childhood, is pretty twangy and a little more drunken sob story, but today’s country music?  Why was I so prejudiced?  What did I have against it.

But then I hear songs like this and I remember:

Okay, actually, I have no idea what the title of the song is or who the artist is, so I suppose I can’t really find it on You Tube or tell you what I’m talking about specifically, but the first time I heard the song, this is what I thought the woman was singing:

There’s nothing like the sound of a cooter slushin’ in the bed of your truck.

Wha???  I mean, I know full well what a cooter is.  I grew up in Cooterville, after all.  I dated the cooteriest cooter in town for two years.  But “slushin’ in the bed of your truck”?  How does a cooter, or anyone else for that matter, slush?

The mind boggles.  Does that mean the cooter drank himself into a stuper, passed out in the bed of the truck, and now everyone is being treated to the swashing of his overfull bladder as the vehicle bumps and jogs over the undoubtedly pothole-filled road?  I mean, obviously if a cooter is passed out in the back of one’s truck, one must take him home, right?

Or maybe the cooter got himself a Slushie at the local Seven Eleven and is slurping it loudly in the back of the truck while his girlfriend drives him to the abandoned barn so he can go rat hunting?  (Trust me, cooters rat hunt).

I’m more inclined to go with the passed out drunk scenario, though I suppose it’s possible the cooter drank too many Slushies and is now in a sugar coma in the back of the truck, again with the overfull bladder noises; but dang, why sing about it?  You know what I’m saying?

So, being the intelligent person I am, I figured the words just couldn’t, could. not. be:

There’s nothing like the sound of a cooter slushin’ in the bed of your truck.

I turned the radio up and sternly told the kids to be quiet so that I could concentrate on this vitally important linguistic matter.  Even with my background in Cootervillian Twang interpretation and translation it took me to almost the very end of the song to figure out the actual words:

There’s nothing like the sound of a cooler sloshin’ in the bed of your truck.

As far as song lyrics go, I suppose they make more sense than what I originally thought I’d heard the woman belt out; but I disagree with the accuracy of their assertion because I think there is something like the sound of a sloshing cooler: a slushing cooter. 

No matter which it is in the back of your truck, however, I hope you tie it down tight before you hit the pothole-filled roads.  Because if your cooler, or your cooter, goes sliding out of the back of that pick-up, you won’t be able to enjoy the glorious sloshin’/slushin’ noise, and then you’ll have no fond summer memories to inspire a country song.

And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt says hello.

27 thoughts on “I Like Country Music Because?

  1. I just laughed so hard tears actually trickled from my eyes!! LOL I grew up in a cooter town too, and knew some cooters. We just called ’em rednecks 🙂

    I am almost a little disappointed that the lyrics weren’t what you thought. You should write that song .


  2. Kelli

    Okay, I almost peed my pants (probably shouldn’t be admitting that). I am not a big country fan, but I LOVE the Dixie Chicks!


  3. Hahahaha. Cooter sloshing. It sounds like something a few of my high school classmates would do on a Friday night. I worked in a factory that only played country music, 8 hours a day, 6 days a week. I still have flashbacks when I hear a Garth Brooks song.


  4. Carolyn

    I feel really terrible, and shouldn’t even admit this, but I really thought that ‘cooter’ was a slang word for a woman’s private parts. Those lyrics you wrote were really disturbing until I realized what the real definition was. (running away to hide now…)


  5. I think the lyrics you came up with first make a way better country song!

    And Carolyn, you shouldn’t feel bad, there is more than one slang meaning for that word and one meaning being mistaken for another definitely gives the lyrics a very different flavor (and is the direction I headed at first too – shame on me!)…


  6. Ha. I love this. I know country music well. I know country song writing well. And I am amazed all of the time by the stuff that I hear on the radio. It is unbelievable. I would not be surprised at all if it had been talking about a cooter slushin in the back of a truck. Nothing surprises me at this point when it comes to country music radio. I actually love country music, but there is so much of it that is just unbearable.

    A personal favorite lyric of mine is:

    “Got it goin’ on
    Like Donkey Kong
    And whoo-wee
    Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
    There outta be a law
    Get the Sheriff on the phone
    Lord have mercy, how’s she even get them britches on
    With that honky tonk badonkadonk”

    And just so you don’t think I am this huge of a loser, I googled the lyrics to this lovely song. But seriously, did he just say “Slap your grandma”????

    I have to give another favorite. I can’t stop. Do you know what this means? Justin and I can’t figure it out. I am crying I am laughing so hard right now. Sorry for taking over the comments.

    “She’s slappin’ down a dam
    where the moss gets thick,
    a yellin’ “YeeHaw !” she’s a red-neck chick,
    spittin’ in the fire, puttin’ on a show, struttin like a chicken to the radio,
    Hey Slick ! She’s a hick !!!
    Hmmm. and her buttermilk lipstick
    give a little something to a cool dark cat,
    finding him a woman who could shake like that,
    HOTTIE ! She’s a Hottie !!! She got a smokin’ little body !
    String bikini and a barbed-wire tat (tatoo)
    She’s a rockin’ that cowboy hat !
    HOTTIE ! She’s a Hottie !!! and just a little bit naughty !
    Singing Kayay digidigy,
    Kayay digidigy, yey HEY hey hey HEY ….


  7. I have two words for you: George Strait. I used to like the Dixie Chicks, until they “just asked the question” by slamming my president overseas. Now, I prefer Toby Keith.


  8. Colleen

    OK, Carolyn… In my area … Cooter is slang for a womans private parts and I was just really shocked. Hysterically so, but shocked none the less. Seriously People… go back and read the post as if you thought so too. This is my new favorite post. I am just really glad that it is not Morman Monday.

    PS – Where is Fill. I need to ask him if my field investigations will occur anytime soon.


  9. I am not quite sure which was more funny- the original post or Kelly’s comments…
    As a former country music fan who is making somewhat of a comeback…I am now afraid once again…


  10. There’s always an education to be had here at LFG. I have to work hard at keeping my mouth clean and using proper terminology for body parts and I am completely unfamiliar with the usage of ‘cooter’ for a woman’s b…, uh p…, uh… Oh, whatever you call it.

    I developed my issues with country music in high school. My school was so gigantic we had a social group known as The Farmers. I heard country music everyday for four years and I. Hated. It. Now I tolerate some, but only if it’s about some tough, ticked off chick who’s had enough. The most recent one that gets stuck in my head is this little Carrie Underwood ditty…
    Right now, he’s probably slow dancing with a
    bleached-blonde tramp
    And she’s probably getting frisky
    Right now he’s probably buying her some Fruity little drink ’cause she can’t shoot whiskey
    Right now, he’s probably up behind her with a pool-stick showing her how to shoot a combo
    And he don’t know…

    That I dug my key into the side of his Pretty little souped up four wheel drive
    Carved my name into his leather seat
    I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
    Slashed a hole in all four tires
    Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats

    Right now, she’s probably up singing some
    white-trash version of Shania karaoke
    Right now, she’s probably saying “I’m drunk”
    And he’s thinking that he’s gonna get lucky
    Right now, he’s probably dabbing on three dollars worth of that bathroom cologne
    And he don’t know… OH!
    I don’t know what this affinity means, but it’s probably best that hubby doesn’t know about it.


  11. Your post and Kelly’s comment have caused me to spit diet Coke at my monitor.

    I am evidently sadly misinformed as to what a cooter is, since I was under the impression that it was X-rated and not something usually discussed in an open forum. By delightfully polite Mormons, especially. I’m going to have to go look it up on urbandictionary.com.

    I do love the Dixie Chicks and several other country musicians, and the Ticks song makes me laugh. Also, Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off, which I believe you told me about in the first place. 🙂


  12. metaphase

    Ok, I mentioned earlier that I’m a closet (well, not to most people) hip hop junkie. I thought lyrics to that music were silly and weird. Now I don’t feel so bad knowing that country is right up there in the silliness. First, badonkadonk is a word coined from Missy Elliot. I find it funny how these words somehow make it into other genres and then into our everyday vernacular (ie, bling, bling [now known only as “bling] or the infamous bootylicious). Music is a strange thing, I tell ya’


  13. Oh.my.word.

    Here is a tip.

    DO NOT enter the search term “cooter” at urbandictionary.com.

    I did eventually find the meaning to which you were referring 9 or 10 definitions in.

    The first 8 or 9 definitions are making me wish I wasn’t eating lunch right now.


  14. I knew of no other meaning for cooter than the one Carolyn and Colleen already mentioned. It’s a cha-cha, vajayjay, hoo-ha, nonnie, etc… and I was quite shocked at first to hear such a good Mormon girl discussing cooters on her blog. That seems more like something I would do. So, so funny!!!!


  15. andrea

    Not all folks that listen to country music are simple minded. Thats a pretty close minded, and rude assumption to make. But she says Cooler Slushing not Cooter.


  16. Andrea, obviously you didn’t read my entire post. I listen to country music. I’ve talked about country music on my blog before. Actually, it’s about all I listen to these days and has been for years. Also, if you’d read the whole post, you’d see that I already knew she was saying cooler (which, by the way, is not a proper noun).


  17. Liz,
    What on earth are you talking about? I never said anything about proper noun usage in songs, did I? Even so, lots of people use proper nouns in songs these days. Any time someone mentions the name of a specific person (say Johnny or June) or a specific place (maybe Georgia or Alabama) they have used a proper noun. But still, I have no idea what your comment is about or why you’d think I’m acting “so high and mighty.” Did you even read the entire post?


  18. Oh, never mind. I got it. You’re not talking about the post but about a comment I left in response to another comment. Umm, still, lots of people use proper nouns in songs, but the words cooler, slushing, and cooter are not proper nouns and, therefore, are not capitalized. Andrea, who apparently did not read the post carefully did capitalize those words, hence my comment. I’m not high and mighty, just a former English teacher and a person who does not appreciate being called rude and close-minded by someone who couldn’t even bother to read the whole post.


  19. Novella

    I know how you feel Elaine, it took me awhile to fine the song too. Looking for the song I found you post and read it, also thinking to start with that you were crazy, but I finished reading and saw that you were not in fact that. But I thought that you and maybe some of your readers would like this…..

    1st Verse

    Hey baby, let’s jump in yo’ truck
    We’ll ride and watch for lightnin’ bugs
    We’ll ride with the windows let down
    There’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now


    ‘Cause there ain’t nothin’ like the sound
    Of a cooler slushin’ on the bed ‘a yo’ truck
    And ain’t nothin’ like the sound of real country music
    C’mon, turn it up
    And I love to hear the whippoorwill sing any night
    And the crickets out in the woods
    Ooh, (and) don’t it feel so right
    Don’t it sound so good

    2nd Verse

    We’ll stop on a ol’ dirt road bridge
    Do you remember when we painted our names on it
    And we’ll listen to the creek as it runs
    And we’ll count the stars
    Every single one

    (Chorus Out)

    It is call Sounds so Good by Shepherd Ashton


  20. In this case, “yanks” is a plural (as in more than one yankee — I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt here and guessing you mean “yankee”), not a possesive (as in something belongs to the yankee), therefore the apostrophe after the k and before the s is not only not needed, it is terribly incorrect.


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