Easy Peasy Turtle Candy

Since this is one of our family favorites and I am currently in the kitchen whipping up a batch, I thought I’d share this holiday recipe.

Not that you couldn’t make it other times of the year, because you could.  Seriously.  The ingredients are easily obtainable all year long.  You know, unlike some other things, namely Mint Truffle Hershey Kisses which should be available all year long but aren’t.  Shame on you Hershey people.  Shame!

Anyway . . .

One 1 lb. bag of mini twist pretzels (that would be the pretzel-shaped ones, not the rods, not the nuggets, not the skinny little sticks, just the pretzel-shaped ones).

2 bags of Rolos candy

1 8oz bag of pecan halves.  On second thought, maybe 2 bags.  It’s not like you’re ever going to wind up with exactly matching amounts of pretzels, Rolos and pecan halves anyway, so just get however much you want and make them until you run out of one ingredient or the other.  Or until you run out of patience.  Or consciousness.  Really, it’s up to you.

Line a baking sheet with tin foil and spread a single layer of pretzels out on the foiled sheet.  (That would be “foiled” with an F, not “soiled” with an S.  Foiled sheets and soiled sheets are two very different things, and using the wrong one would definitely affect the outcome here).

Place one unwrapped Rolo candy on the center of each pretzel.  Really people, do I need to explain that the Rolos need to be unwrapped?  I really shouldn’t need to, but I feel compelled to anyway, because I never know who might be reading, and I don’t want any hate email because some dim bulb spent the day with a mouth full of gold foil.  Though, really, that would be an inexpensive way to get yourself a festive grill for the holidays.  Fo’ shizzle.

Put the baking sheet with the pretzles and Rolos into a pre-heated 250 degree oven for about five minutes.  Take the sheet out and gently push a pecan half into each Rolo.  If the pecan halves can’t be easily pushed into the candy, put it all back in the oven for a couple more minutes to soften it up more, then try again.  Did I really need to tell you that?  Really???  Let cool until the Rolos harden back up, and there you have it.

See?  Dead easy, and mighty tasty.

Oh, and don’t get the unsalted pretzels unless it is really medically necessary.  Okay?

And George, if you’re out there, Tewt doesn’t think newts eat turtles.

10 thoughts on “Easy Peasy Turtle Candy

  1. This has got to be the most humorous recipe I’ve ever read!

    I’m definitely picking up the ingredients for these at the store today. Only, I don’t like pecans. Or walnuts. Any substitution suggestions?


  2. I love that YOU actually have “fo’ shizzle” in your post. I love those treats, and I might have to make some myself! And I greatly appreciate the thorough, detailed nature of the recipe, because while I used to not consider myself a dim bulb, these days I would have a much harder time battling the label. I mean, I think I would know to take the wrappers off, but you just. never. know.

    Happy snacking – yum!


  3. Jennifer,
    Not much to suggest for substitutions since I don’t use nuts much (give me migraines and the rest of my family doesn’t care about them one way or the other). I’m thinking cashews would be really good . . . mmmmm . . . cashews . . . I used to be able to eat them. Of course, cashews and peanuts are more related to the legume family than the nut family, and those are the two that I know for sure trigger migraines for me, so I keep telling myeself that as I eat the turtle candies and pop Tylenol just in case.

    I actually have no idea what “fo’ shizzle” means, so I hope I’m not swearing too badly or anything. 🙂


  4. Leave it to you to have me giggling over a Rolo recipe. Fo shizzle. HA! LOVE these. And now that you’ve reminded me of them, I have to head to Wally World to pick up the necessary ingredients. I’ll post pictures tonight…and credit you, of course! 🙂


  5. Really funny. And these actually sound tasty so I am going to try them and impress my peeps. But – I will be cautious about keeping the foiled sheets separated from the soiled sheets. Fo’ shizzle.


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