Hap . . . Umm . . . New Year

Here is my confession to start off 2009:  New Year’s Eve and all the new year celebrations?  My least favorite holiday of the year.  I mean, the festivities are fun and all, but I just don’t get into marking the passage of time.  It just means another year is gone and we’re all that much closer to being dead.

Pleasant, no?

I pretty much feel the same way about my birthdays now that I am getting So Old, though it’s not quite as bad.  I guess that’s because I see birthdays as a celebration of the person more than a celebration of the passage of time.

But New Year’s Eve and the ensuing New Year?  All about the passage of time.  Trust me.  I didn’t have all these wrinkles in 1995.

Aside from all that, I felt like I should start the new year with one of my havoc wreaking proclamations, but I can’t think of anything better than the one about butterfly wings being the most disturbing part of your day, so I’ll just leave it at “Happy New Year!” and hope it doesn’t cause any of you to get divorced or pierce your nipples.

WHY do people do that?!?!?!?!?!?  And, YES, I AM casting judgment.  It just sounds too painful to make any sense.

Aside from all that, I suppose I should share some New Year’s “Resolutions.”

Like the quotation marks around “Resolutions?”

Yeah, you probably all understand why I’d do that.

Anyway, whilst I do have some of the same resolutions I and the rest of the American population always have (loose some weight, get in better shape), I have a few others as well.  Since the few others are probably far more interesting than, “spend at least 30 minutes per day, 5-6 days per week, on the Wii Fit,” I’ll share them:

  1. Plant a meadow in the back corner of our property.  Yes, it will be round. Yes, I realize how nerdy you think that makes me.  I don’t care.
  2. Take up bee keeping.  Yes, I am serious.  The bees will love the meadow, and I will love the honey.  We have friends who live back in the ‘burbs and they started the bee keeping this past year.  They got 175 lbs. (I believe) of honey.
  3. Speaking of large quantities of food products, I want to finish off my year’s supply of food.  The bees, who will love the meadow, will help me achieve this goal.  I mean, we need more wheat and beans and other things, too, so it’s not like the little buzzers will be the bee all end all (snort) for my food storage goals, but they will at least (hopefully) provide the honey.
  4. Double the size of my garden and take better care of it.  The bees will also like the garden, the garden will also help with the food storage.
  5. Learn how to can.  I can’t believe I just typed that.  I have not-so-fond memories of helping my mom in the kitchen while she was canning.  People, we didn’t have air conditioning, and you can in, like, August, and it involves lots and lots of boiling water and steam.  I hate canning.  But now?  I have central air (so do my parents, by the way – they got all the good stuff after I went off to college), so it shouldn’t be so heinous.  I wish produce had a long shelf life without having to can it or freeze it.

You like how most of my resolutions can’t really be started for another couple of months?  Yeah, so do I.  Though I will be researching a few things, like bees, between now and then, so as long as I’m doing that I’ll be working on my resolutions, right?  Right.

And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt resolves to actually write a letter and send it off to the several possible addresses we have for you.

9 thoughts on “Hap . . . Umm . . . New Year

  1. Stacey Kirchner

    Well, Elaine, I guess it’s a good thing you are not married to my husband. We celebrate New Years Eve AND his birthday all in one day! Talk about celebrating the passing of time. He loved telling his mom January 1st that he was going to turn 30 next year. One of my New Years resolution is to START a garden. Hopefully that will turn out well.


  2. Nancy

    RE: #5 – *snort, snort* If YOU can’t believe you just typed that, how do you think I feel?

    I have some extra canning jars if you want them – food storage for two doesn’t take as much work or as many jars as for six. I’ll even help you fill them.

    The bees are a good idea. Pass the info along.


  3. I’m with ya on everything but the bees. Those little buggars scare me. Not as bad as wasps…but they still have stingers. Can’t stand them. Nope. Not going to do it. But I’m going to also try my hand at gardening and canning this year. Wish me luck. I have no idea what I’m doing! 🙂


  4. The bee keeping is a wonderful idea! (I’m serious.) Bees are really important for…something my science teacher husband is really concerned about right now. Some kind of mite in bee stomachs that is causing them to die off or something, or an abscence of bee stomach mites that is causing them to die off? Something about mites and bee stomachs that has made this a bad year for bees. So, yay, grow more bees.

    Do you know what else I find creepy about intimate anatomical piercing? If it’s not done correctly…a person (say, a plaintiff in a law suit) might lose ALL sensation in that, er, area. And that would just not be cool at all. (I swear there are lots of things I would NEVER consider doing to my body after reading my torts text book in law school.)


  5. Christina

    I’m right there with you on the New Year’s thing.
    My aunt and uncle keep bees – I think it actually started with my grandpa. I remember he got stung – a lot. But the honey is really good!


  6. Ok. Those resolutions aren’t even sort of close to my own resolutions, or any resolutions I have ever heard of. 🙂 Can’t wait to read about them – I know it’ll be way more exciting than my own.

    You know, I’ve been surprised many times at how many women I know have their nipples pierced (I don’t know how, but it’s come up in many conversations). But I think my surprise is more along the lines of how many of these women are letting men that are not their husbands look at their boobs and other should-be-husband-only regions.


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