In November I lost 5 pounds. I didn’t exercise, I just cut out sugar. It works every time. If I’d kept it up? I would probably be down 10 pounds and walking around feeling all hot and successful and whatnot.
Last year, shortly after our Big Move, I bought some cute, brown stretch jeans on clearance for $5.00. Yes, I rock the sales. Anyway, they were too small, and I knew it, but I also knew that I only needed to lose a few pounds for them to fit, they were cute, and $5.00! Why would I not buy them?
So I wore those brown stretch jeans to the Twilight party and movie. They made very cute Bella jeans (at least in my mind).
Then, of course, The Holidays hit.
This morning I put those jeans back on for the first time in quite a while, and?
I swear I heard them scream. Or maybe groan.
I think there was some quiet muttering about even stretch denim having its limits.
It’s amazing what a difference 3.5 pounds makes.
Okay, okay, so my stretch jeans don’t actually scream or groan. But you know what? The Wii Fit does. I mean, it doesn’t really scream, but when you step on it for the first time each day? It says, “Ooo!” And? It talks smack about you to other users.
A couple of days ago A~ was getting started and it asked her how she thought Matt was doing.
Does he look: slimmer, larger, more toned, about the same?
I told A~ to click on “more toned” because the Wii Fit calculates your BMI based solely on your height and weight, and doesn’t take into account your actual muscle mass. Since McH has more muscle than the average bear his height (even though he hasn’t really been able to work out much for about a year now), the Wii Fit told him he is overweight and made his little Wii Mii guy fat. So every time he gets on it, his little Wii Mii holds his belly while it jiggles up and down like Santa Claus or something.
Anyway . . . I told A~ to click on “more toned” and she did, and the Wii Fit? It said, “Well I suppose that is possible . . .”
A~ literally fell to the ground in a crumpled up heap of laughter.
And George, if you’re out there Tewt the Newt it trying to cut back on the sugar. Again.