Matt the Maker

Gah!  That title would sound so much better if my husband’s name were Artie, or Kevin, or Bob.  Or even David.  Because then it would be Artie the Assembler or Kevin the Constructor or, you know, Bob the Builder.  Or even David the Designer.

But his name is Matt (which is a nice name –  I mean, no offense to all the Kevins and Arties out there, or the Bobs and the Davids, but I’m rather fond of Matt), so I’ll just have to go with Matt the maker.  Even though it makes it sound like he out trying to pick up chicks or something.  Isn’t that what on the make means?  Maybe not.  I’m not really up on the lingo for such things.

Anyway, that is really, most definitely, not what he is doing (even though he could easily find younger and hotter women than I to fall all over him).

He has, however, designed a . . . umm . . . swing set for the kids.  He had lumber and other supplies delivered two weeks ago.  He has, time and weather permitting, been working on it (with copious amounts of help from my also-handy father) since.

I think I need to back up a bit.  We have been talking all winter about building  swing set for the kids this year since it didn’t get done last year.  We have debated buying them the same one we had at our old house.  We have looked at many, many other options online.  My husband has been researching, debating, comparing and contrasting off and on for months.  A few weeks ago he emailed me a spreadsheet, A Spreadsheet! of all the options.  Call me uncaring or unfeeling if you wish, but once we get to the point of doing A Spreadsheet! on all the options and expenses of the various swing sets, my brain shuts down.  I told him I was fine with any of them and to please just choose one (see?  at least I’m not terribly picky).

So he made a choice.  He decided to go with his own design.  He is quite the handy hottie, that husband of mine.

Now the kids are asking when their park will be finished.  No, I am not hyperbolizing (for once).  Tank Boy actually asked me when his park will be finished.

So far it has rings.


And swings.


A tube slide (unless you are Tank Boy, and then it’s Tuba Slide) is still waiting to be attached (as are the other two non-tuba slides).

tuba slide

There will also be:  a baby swing, a disc swing, a tire swing, monkey bars, and a punching bag; six platforms, three roofs, and a bridge.  Am I forgetting anything?  Oh, a sandbox or three.

So far it looks like this (especially when you are standing in my bathtub to better look out the window) (why do people put huge picture windows right above the bathtub?):

swing set

All six towers will have platforms.  The three taller ones in the back will be roofed.  There will be a bridge connecting the front and back middle towers.  I don’t pretend to remember where everything else will go, just that none of the slides will be going toward the pond.

So, yeah, for Easter?  My kids are apparently getting a park.

the park

But they are not getting cell phones until they can pay for them themselves!  And no cars for their 16th birthdays!  And they will continue to wear clearance jeans from Target (until they start going to school)!  We will not spoil our children.  Will not!


Party at my house this summer, anyone?

21 thoughts on “Matt the Maker

  1. Can we come?!!! That looks like so much fun!

    My husband does spreadsheets for everything. You should see the one he’s made trying to decide which minivan to buy…


  2. metaphase

    Tank Boy was right, it is a park. That looks like so much fun. I’m in for the party. Just let me know whether to bring the hot dogs or hamburgers!


  3. That’s insane. That is totally a park!!! But since it took us like 10 years to build our puny walmart playstructure with ONE tower, it would literally be faster to drive to your house to play! LOL


  4. tryingtraditional

    That is better than any park around here! Seriously, the man has talent.

    Do you suppose he would share blueprints with other husbands lacking in the design, though able in the building department? My guy can build, but planning usually comes up not so good 🙂


  5. Awesome. My boys would absolutely love it. I like the idea of sharing blueprints (not that we even have a postage stamp of a yard, but whatever). Maybe he could copyright them and sell them to us for a few dollars?


  6. That is so COOL! My kids would love it. Heck, I would love it! Can I borrow Matt the Maker, please? Or at least his blueprints? ;>)


  7. That is one amazing park Matt is building for you – I’m totally serious! I can’t even imagine. I think that’s as big as the ropes course I used to work on when I was with the YMCA! You could rent it out for birthday parties or such, I’m telling you! Next blogger party at your house, no doubt! You’ll have to show the finished product too, okay? (and you are cracking me up with the spreadsheet thing – too funny)


  8. Christina

    Holy Moly that is the King of All Swing Sets! It could eat our playground for breakfast! Very impressive Matt, Very Impressive!


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