The Thoughts That I’ve Been Thinking

Self-important people:  I both loath and envy them.  While I never want to be so gosh-awful obnoxious, I wish I weren’t so full of insecurity so much of the time.

Time:  Could it just stand still for a while?  Is that really asking too much?  I have a lot of things to get done on a daily basis, and no matter how many of them I accomplish, I always go to bed feeling like I didn’t accomplish anything. 

Parenting:  A friend once told me she knows God sent her her children because she, for whatever reasons that only He knows, is best equipped to be their mother.  (She is not a self-important person, by the way).  I admire her faith and her self-assurance as a mother (which isn’t to say she never questions herself, but her faith in the fact that God picked her to mother these children because she is good for them helps her through).  I wish I shared her perspective.  Instead I find myself wondering how my children got stuck with me for their mom.

Gratitude:  I have so much, so very, very  much, for which to be grateful.  And, while I know that and can logically see that, I have been really trying to feel it.  I get glimmers of it every now and then and am lifted by the joy that it brings.  It seems to hit me most often when I am working outside.  Hmmm . . . vitamin D deficient much?

Crisis Mode Living:  In retrospect, I think that I have been living in crisis mode for the past many years, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.  What does that even mean, by the way?  I mean, I know what it means, but why?  Why does it mean that?  Anyway, the other shoe always does drop, and I’m wondering how many feet I actually have.  I’ve got to run out of shoes soon (I know, you’re thinking, “What’s happened lately?”  Just trust me, stuff has happened.  Then more stuff happened).  Anyway, I’m tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I just want to be able to take life as it comes and enjoy the enjoyable parts more.  The truth is that life is going to be full of dropping shoes anyway, so I might as well relish the times when I’m not being pummeled with metaphorical footwear and grasp for joy when I am.

Blogging:  Something I probably shouldn’t do when it is gray and rainy outside and I’m hormonal inside.

And George . . .

8 thoughts on “The Thoughts That I’ve Been Thinking

  1. One: I suspect you broke into my blog and stole a post, or you are somehow stealing my thoughts during the times I’m not wearing my foil hat.

    I could have written this post, is what I’m trying to indicate there.

    Two: If you feel like getting some of that stuff off your chest and want to talk about it, you know I’m a few clicks away.

    I am always waiting for that other shoe, too. And it’s a stiletto with a really sharp, spiky heel that’s going to pith the crap out of me when it finally drops.

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  2. oooh I totally hear you re: crisis living mode….and I’m a barefoot kind of gal (esp now that no normal shoes fit due to massive feet swelling). ANYWAY, I am sorry about the ‘stuff’…and love the idea of grasping for the joy while you can

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  3. Christina

    I’ve just been reading pages and pages of quotes and this post fits right in. Seriously, check it out:

    “The truth is that life is going to be full of dropping shoes anyway, so I might as well relish the times when I’m not being pummeled with metaphorical footwear and grasp for joy when I am.” ~ Elaine.

    And I would definitely be quoting you left and right because most everything you said I can totally relate to. Most especially the metaphorical footwear – which today actually involved literal footwear. Go figure.

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  4. I used to be married to a self-important person. ’nuff said there.

    I’ve been trying to feel more gratitude in my life. It helps me if I actually make mention of my blessings in my journal.

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  5. I would like to come up with something really wise and insightful to say in response to this (have been trying to come up with such a response since you first posted it) and I’ve got nothing, especially today. But as others have said, I swear you stole that right out of my head. Well, stole the jumbled, messed up thoughts and made them actually make sense and sound literate and insightful. That other shoe thing, yeah, lot of that going on. All of it, really.

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  6. Pingback: Things I Heard During My 15 Minutes At Target « Moving+Three Kids=Chaos

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