Say It Isn’t So! (Vague Spoilers)

I just read the unthinkable!  Twilight  series author Stephenie Meyer is being sued for plagiarism!

My world has been shattered. 

The wronged author is so sad, so upset, so wronged because Ms. Meyer stole, yes stole her ideas and used them in Breaking Dawn.  I mean, there aren’t really any word for word passages which were plagiarized, but dangit!  She took the idea for a wedding!  She copied the idea for a sex on the beach scene!  She even had the audacity to rip off the idea of writing about the experience of transformation from human to vampire.

They were all such original ideas!  I am devastated and shocked that one of my favorite book series ends with nothing but pages and pages of ripped off, brilliantly original ideas.  I mean, honestly, when I first read Breaking Dawn I did wonder a bit.  A wedding?  Really?  Where could she have come up with such a clever idea?  Certainly it was not of her own device.  And sex on the beach?  Who has ever dreamed such a thing let alone written about it?

Through my sobs and tears of utter betrayal and disappointment, I have completed further investigation into the matter.  In addition to stealing the ides specifically referred to by the lawyer for the offended, I found that Stephanie Meyer also stole such concepts as:

Werewolves

Battle preparation

Plot

Theme

Characters

Setting

Use of the English alphabet

Punctuation

Oh!  The crime against humanity, literature, and intellectual property!  I shall never sleep.  I shan’t.  I just shan’t!

SWOON

And fade scene

7 thoughts on “Say It Isn’t So! (Vague Spoilers)

  1. I can’t help but notice that you used old-fashioned phrasing for emphasis with your “shant” fanciness, and I must insist, really I must, that that is MY IDEA and you stole it! Vile thief! Unhand my phrasing; unhand it, I say!

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  2. Jessica

    I live under a rock and am just now reading the Twilight series and didnt know they get married. Now I know. You should change your title to tell there are spoilers included for those of us under rocks 😉

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  3. Point taken, except I didn’t say WHO gets married. Bella and Edward? Bella and Jacob? Mike and Jessica? Maybe Rene and Charlie hook up again by book four? Perhaps Billy Black and Harry Clearwater’s widow. You never know . . .

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  4. First you are hilarious (we would call you ridonkulous in our house). Second, I also haven’t read book 4 yet but I’m telling myself that the wedding could be with Edward OR Jacob… (someone else spoiled that part for me LONG ago, as well as something about a “rhymes-with-maybe”)

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  5. You stole my idea for this post. Vile plagiarist. You shall be hearing from my attorney forthwith.

    On a slightly different note, anyone who writes about a romantic sex on the beach scene has never had sex on a beach… Sand is not a naked girl’s friend. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.

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  6. metaphase

    Having grown up on the beach, I can say I’ve never had sex on the beach but I have made out on the beach. The thought of sex on the beach. One word- exfoliation. Ouch!
    While we’re talking about plagiarism, I’ve been meaning to speak to you. It’s so clear your blog is totally based off mine. I’m mean the fact that you talk about : being a mom, adopting a child (a son no less! I mean at least be a little original!) having dogs (again, a German Shepherd! c’mon) being conservative, and doing laundry and cleaning house? It’s so obvious! I’m calling my lawyer!

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