This Morning . . . This Afternoon . . . This Evening . . . is The Funny Part

This morning I asked A~, “Hey, this bookmark in Oliver Twist is at pages 249-250.  Is that where you left off when you were seven?”

“Yeah,” she said.  “That is where it started to get a bit too confusing.”


Later this morning she went to school and, per my instructions, asked her homeroom teacher to look at her schedule to see if she is the advanced classes.  The teacher said that, no, she wasn’t so, also per my instructions, A~ said that her mother (that would be me, of course) would like somebody to call her about that as soon as possible because she is supposed to be in the advanced classes.

And the teacher?  Said, “Do you have proof?”

Umm . . . excuse me?  Not that my child’s ability isn’t the school’s business, because of course it is, but that question should be directed my way, not at my child who is just doing what I have asked, no?  It’s not like I send her packing in the morning with her standardized test scores (which, by they way, and I may have blogged about this before, made the principal go, “Wow!”).

So then A~ explained that the principal had told me she would be in the advanced classes, and the teacher?

Said, “You haven’t even taken any standardized tests.  You have no proficiency or IOWA test scores.”

So then A~, my eleven-year-old who is on her second day ever of school and isn’t the kind to argue with adults for any reason whatsoever, had to explain that she had been taking the proficiency tests for the past several years (though Mrs. B. really had her there with those IOWA tests.  I am such a bad, bad parent).

So Mrs. B (that seriously is her initial, I’m not just trying to imply something about her) apparently said something to the principal, because later in the day the principal found A~ and told her she would be going to a different language arts block today – the advanced one.

But I guess the principal forgot to tell the teachers, because the advanced teacher didn’t know what A~ was doing in her class, and after A~ explained it to her the other language arts teacher poked her head into the room to see if A~ was in there.  When the advanced teacher said, “yes,” the other teacher said, “Well, I guess that’s okay for now.”

This afternoon A~ was fighting back tears about it all when she told me.

This afternoon I called the principal to say, “I understand there has been some confusion about A~’s schedule.”

Oh, yes.  I fixed that.  Did she tell you we switched her language arts?”

“Yes, but not the math.”

I’m not sure which math she is in.  I still need to check into that one.”

“But there is an advanced section of pre-algebra?”

Yes, I’m just not sure which one she is in.  Her schedule doesn’t really tell me.  But I’ll look into it.”

Okay, not quite sure how that all works, the principal being able to look right at her schedule and not knowing if she is in advanced math or not, but I’ll giver he the benefit of the doubt until the end of the school day tomorrow.

I also told her about the one teacher making that “it’s okay for now” comment about the language arts switch, and she said not to worry, it’s a done deal.

That’s all well and good, but it doesn’t change the fact that my daughter has been crying off and on all evening because she is terribly, terribly afraid that she has made Mrs. B, her homeroom teacher who doesn’t have her in any other class for any actual subject and therefore shouldn’t give a rat’s behind about her test scores, mad at her for the rest of all eternity.

And here I was afraid the girls might have a hard time with the other kids being not too nice.  What was I thinking?????? (And yes, A~ is a little sensitive when it comes to thinking she has made a person of authority mad at her.  We have reassured her repeatedly that she did nothing wrong).

This evening, I was reading through more and more pages of rules and garbage that need my signature on the bottom.  So now, for a little levity and humor, here are some of my absolute favorite parts of these forms, generated by the fifth and sixth-grade teaching staffs.  I am not making any of this up:

Plan of action in instances of disruptive/inappropriate behavior:
1.  The student will receive a verbal worming by the classroom teacher
(I couldn’t help myself.  Under my signature I added a note which reads, “I would prefer that you warn, rather than worm, my child. :)”

Our homework polis is intended to assist students who frequently have late, incomplete or missing work in becoming more responsible and successful.
Eee gads!  You have an entire Greek city-state dedicated to helping kids who can’t get their work done on time?  Way to go property tax dollars!

Part of becoming an organized and responsible student is learning to manage time will and work carefully to ensure that each daily assignment is completed fully and correctly.
Would that be as correctly as this form letter has been completed, or more correctly?  Just wondering.

If a student received a fourth strike, another detention will be issued, and I will contact the parents of  guardians concerning the problem.
Geeze, who are you going to call if they get a fifth strike?  Santa Clause? 

If you are walking down the street one of these days in some teeny tiny Midwestern town, and you happen to see a frazzled woman running into the post office with blood gushing inexplicably out of her mouth, that would be me biting my freaking tongue off so as not to bring the wrath of the entire middle school faculty down upon my daughters.

Now I am either going to go to bed, or going to spend half the night photo copying all of the girls’ achievement test scores (which the virtual academy apparently hasn’t forwarded to the school yet) so that the teachers can peruse them at their leisure, since it is apparently so important to at least one of them.

And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt doesn’t know what to think right now.

8 thoughts on “This Morning . . . This Afternoon . . . This Evening . . . is The Funny Part

  1. Poor girl! She sounds so much like I did back in 7th grade. Heck, I’m still afraid of getting authority figures mad at me, except when I completely know I’m right, of course. 🙂


  2. metaphase

    Oh if only you could help her know that she doesn’t need to give her HR teacher the time of day…(in a respectful way, of course!:) I don’t know why some teachers need to treat kids like felons instead of fellow human beings. My students used to always tell me how “cool” I was (I’m hopelessly uncool, really) and how I “just talked” to them. At the time, I had no idea what they were talking about. I guess now I know b/c I would never ask a kid for “proof” of their schedule or something like “that’s ok for now” unless I that kid had given me reason to mistrust them. (Even then, I would have reminded them of when they lied to me and told them that’s why I didn’t fully trust them now!) Oh, now I know why you weren’t excited about government schools. AND, (I’m totally going off here on this comment) do they not proof read anything they’re sending home? They look like morons, but then, they probably weren’t expecting anyone to actually read those forms! I think you should give them a firm WORMING!


  3. Seriously I’m going to create an auto-generated comment for all your gov’t schools tags that says “I do not know how you do it.” All I can think of when I read these posts is my PTSD! ha.

    We had a Mrs. B (stood for b*tch – ha) when Paige was in 3rd grade and she was totally inappropriate with the kids, saying things that NEVER should have been said to the student (intended for the parents). Thankfully she went on leave soon after but it was rough. Thank goodness she is ONLY the homeroom teacher.

    And onto my attempt at being supportive (see? I try.): just remember how AWFUL last fall was with the VA. Sometimes there are rough starts. They don’t have to predict the school year. Let’s hope this is one of those rough starts.


  4. Ugh! I’m sorry A has had such a hard time with her teachers. It shouldn’t be like that. How don’t they understand that they’re there to serve the students? I feel for her. I had issues having the strength to deal with authority figures too, especially when they were being bastards. Hopefully things will get straightened out quickly and her days will get smoother.


  5. That form cracks me up! “Parents of guardians…” wow, they take that fourth strike REALLY seriously! Nobody reads a riot act like GRANDMA reads a riot act!


  6. My daughter K would have been totally upset by that mix-up too. In fact I’d probably hear about it for the rest of the year. (Also she’d likely prefer to stay in the non-honors classes, just to avoid rocking the boat. Am now crossing my fingers she does not have a similar schedule mix-up!)

    Those forms and your responses cracked me up. And now at least I have one reason to look forward to the Giant Pile Of Forms I’ll have to fill out later this week… Blog Fodder!! 🙂


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