I Could So Do A Better Job Than Barbara Walters

Did anybody catch her Fascinating People special last night?  I didn’t see the whole thing, just the last few people, and you know what?  She missed a great opportunity to ask some very important questions that everybody should be asking but nobody is.

But before we get to that, what is up with all the media hype and hoopla over Michelle Obama’s arms?  Don’t get me wrong, they are nice, but I wouldn’t say they are exceptional.   They’re just arms. I don’t get it at all.

And again, before we move on, what was up with the first lady’s answer to the question . . . what was it exactly?  Something to the effect of, “What has been the most difficult part of this past year?”

And her answer?

“Oh, I’ve had to transition two girls into a new city and new schools, and we got a dog!”

Cry me a river. 

I’ll see you the transitioning two girls into a new town and new schools, and the dog, and raise you a dog, two horses, the death of two beloved dogs, a back surgery, the culmination of an international adoption, something about which I cannot blog, and a few other things about which I will not blog.

Okay, okay.  So that was two years for me.  But most of it happened within one year.

Oh, and yeah, yeah, there was also that bit about having to travel to eight different countries with her husband.  I’m sure it’s grueling, what with all the staff that handles all the arrangements for you, and cleans your house while your gone.  Oh, and while you’re not gone.

If you can’t come up with something difficult about the past year of your life, or if you don’t want to share the difficult parts, then just say so, mmm’kay?

Now on to my real topic for this post:

Adam Lambert.

What was up with Bab’s and the softball questions that any idiot could ask.

“Why did you do it?”

“Do you think it will hurt your career?”

“Do you regret it now?”

Here are the questions I have just been dying for somebody to ask him; the questions I would LOVE to ask him myself (not that I am an Adam Lambert fan or give a rat’s behind about him one way or the other, just that these are questions which, HELLO?  Somebody should be asking, somebody should be raising a stink about, but nobody is):

If groping that female dancer, pushing that male dancer’s face into your crotch, and kissing that musician all were acts performed ‘in the moment’ as you claim, and they were not planned or rehearsed in any way as you claim, then are you worried about a sexual harassment lawsuit from any of the three people you sexually assaulted?”

Given that singing is your job, and dancing is their job, and you all do your jobs on the stage, and you have shown a great lack of self-discipline and respect for others on the job, and have sexually harassed co-workers (or employees?  I don’t know how that works) on public television, how do you defend yourself from the accusation (that nobody is making but me) that you have created a hostile work environment?”

Given the blatant nature of your sexual harassment of others, have you been ordered by your record label to attend any sensitivity training, and if not, then why not?”

You say you don’t regret the things you did in your performance.  Why is it you think you are allowed to sexually harass others and create a hostile work environment without remorse or culpability, and would you extend that same privilege to others?  For instance, if you were working in an office, or a hamburger joint, would you allow others to grope or grab you, or make unwanted remarks about your sexuality, without complaining or reporting them?”

Do you worry, based on your actions, that it will be difficult to find back up performers to take the stage with you out of fear they will be publicly assaulted?”

When it comes to things like sexual harassment and sexual assault, or, if you prefer, lewd acts against others in the work environment, how do you explain the double standard the entertainment industry seems to hold?”

Or, Mr. Lambert, are you just a big fat liar who did, indeed, have it all planned out ahead of time?”

See?  I could totally wipe the floor with Barbara Walters.  I mean, granted, my interviews wouldn’t be so warm and fuzzy, and I might not be able to get anyone to talk to me ever again, but my interview would have been tons more interesting to watch.

It really doesn’t matter though, because I’d rather have Andy Rooney’s job.

And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt may share some of his back story on the blog soon.

7 thoughts on “I Could So Do A Better Job Than Barbara Walters

  1. Cute and funny blog. You are right in saying it would be easy to out-do Ms. Wah Wah. She has a simple approach, or formula, to ‘journalism’ from her earliest beginnings. To those that are as liberal as she is, just ask fluffy questions, creates a happy-go-lucky atmosphere, and fawn happily over them as if the interviewed person can do no wrong. To those she doesn’t like, conservatives typically, she gets ‘serious’ and needles them to create a hostile atmosphere, and show the interviewed person in a bad light. One reason I don’t pay attention to her.
    There is one other question I would have put to this Lambert character. “Why is it you are so selfish and unthinking to push your gay minority message when there probably were children watching that did not deserve, nor need, to be exposed to your lewd behavior”?
    Like you, I don’t care one iota about this twerp. He is just another reason I don’t watch (didn’t watch this one either) those type tv shows anymore. It is no longer about the music, just a forum for the ridiculous.


  2. Hey, welcome to the blog! Though I have lost all respect for Babs as a journalist (wait, did I ever have any to begin with????) I have to defend her by saying she was very nice to Glenn Beck last night. *SHOCK*. She really did play soft with him, too.


  3. I thought her special this year was AWFUL. Lame. Pointless. Worthless. I don’t know if it used to be way better or if my own standards are much higher now or what but it was really dumb.


  4. If you ever replace BW, I will subscribe to cable or satellite just to see it all first hand 🙂 We had tv the first year of our marriage, decided it was’t healthy for our marriage, and haven’t had it since. I feel like we miss out a little on the Olympics, State of the Union (though that is pretty easy to find online), holiday parade tapings (though I am remembering those with the sentiments of youth and they have likely been stripped of everything worthwhile except the balloons), and most of all I missed it during 9/11….spent some time at my parents those couple weeks and it was really good to just be close to family then anyways.


  5. Didn’t watch bw but that Adam Lambert performance was VULGAR and completely inappropriate for regular television. I’m not talking about him being a homosexual or kissing a guy, I’m talking about ALL of the sexual stuff he did with (to?) dudes and ladies on-screen. You’re right. It wasn’t dancing, it was like an assault. (shudders). And the screeching hurt my ear brains…


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