One would think that, being the fair-skinned, sunburned-prone Scappalachian that I am, I would remember to apply sunscreen before going out to mow more than an acre of grass.
One, of course, would be wrong.
While I was mowing said grass I had all kinds of thoughts swirling around in my head, thoughts both humorous and insightful, thoughts that, I thought, would make a slew of fantabulous blog posts. I sat there, zipping around on my zero-turn radius riding mower, thinking, “Oh, yeah, my blog is going to be good again with all these thoughts I’m thinking!”
But now? The thoughts are gone. Now? All I can think about is the fact that I got a raging sunburn on my knees, and they hurt. And they itch.
Oh good gosh! Why do I get The Unbearable Itch every time I get a sunburn now? I did not used to get The Itching with The Sunburn. Just The Burning.
But my knees? Have both.
And I? Am sitting with a tea towel and two ice packs on my knees, just some head gear short and 25 years too many to star as a total dork in an angsty 80s teen movie about a girl who is infatuated with the cutest boy in school but is too busy itching and burning to behave in any socially acceptable way.
Ewww. That makes it sound like that poor girl has some kind of venereal disease, doesn’t it? Well, that would probably actually up her chances of getting the cutest boy in school to take her to prom because, you know, that means, well, you know; but I digress.
From what I digress I am not sure.
But my ice packs are now all melty and I want to go sit in a cold, cold tub of water; however my laptop isn’t waterproof and I know I won’t last long in the cold, cold water because most of my body is not burning. A good portion of it is itching (does that mean I’m allergic to the sun now?), but only my knees are burning.
Dear God, please make the burning stop.
And you are all thinking, just make this post stop!
Ahhhh! Sweet mother of lidocaine. That’s a bit better.
So, like I was saying, because of my sunburn I have nothing to say. So sad.
And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt doesn’t know what to think.