A Thousand Posts Squished Into One . . . . . . . . . . . Maybe

Or maybe just a lot of rambling that will bore you to death.  Who knows?  It’s an adventure!  We’ll all find out together, and by the end we’ll either be all, “Wow! What a post!”  or “Wow!  How does one blather so much about nothing of any import?”

Either way, I figure it will make me look talented.

Wuv for the Wovel

If you are my Facebook friend, then you may already know what a Snow Wovel is.  If not? You are missing out!  Unless I already talked about it on my blog?  I don’t remember.

See, our current abode has a driveway that is . . . long.  It’s only one car wide (until you get up to the garage, where it fans out into a three-car-wide concrete apron) (yes, I imagine cars all nestled on the concrete like potatoes being carried to the kitchen in Ma Ingalls’ apron) (or something like that).  But the narrow driveway is looooong.

Since we are in Canada South and all, I told McH we really needed to get a snow blower.  He said snow blowers are for sissies.  (Or something like that).  I pointed out that, according to his lower back which no longer has all of it’s disks, he should be a sissy.  Right.  He didn’t share that opinion, and insisted that he would shovel the driveway by hand.

Men!

So my parents were going to give him money to put towards a snow blower for Christmas; but then I found it!  I found the Snow Wovel!  Since it is much cheaper than a snow blower, I suggested to my parents that they just get him one of those do-hickies for Christmas.  They did.  And?

I WUV the Wovel.  McH likes it, too.  I shoveled almost the entire driveway yesterday, and would have finished had it not been for the pesky fact that my family likes to eat dinner and I needed to get it started.  I’m telling you, the Wovel is great!

Not only does it make it so easy to shovel snow that even a(n) (out-of-shape, 40-year-old) girl can do it, but . . . oooo, this is the good part . . . all of my tree-hugging, left-leaning liberal friends who are wondering, “Dear God in Heaven, is global warming getting that out of control or am I going through menopause??” will love it because it is greener than Al Gore’s bank account.

Oh, and by the way?  It’s menopause.  Hello???  Ice in Atlanta this week???

But all that aside, if you live in an area that requires driveway shoveling in the winter, you should get yourself one of these contraptions.  Compared to a regular shovel, the Wovel saves your back.  Compared to a snow blower, the Wovel saves you loads of money on gasoline, or saves the planet.  However you want to spin it.  Personally, I like the fact that if hyperinflation ever hits, or cap and trade passes, or whatever, I won’t have to weight the pros and cons of going broke tanking up a snow blower versus risking a stroke or heart attack due to regular hand shoveling.

I think we need to get a second Snow Wovel.  Seriously.  I mean, we can do the job in a reasonable amount of time with one, but with two?  It wouldn’t take any time at all.

Hormones and Headaches and Doctors and Such

You may or may not recall that several months ago I went to a wellness/anti-aging Dr. here in Canada South, got all kinds of blood and saliva testing done, and started taking bio-identical hormones for my migraines.

Overall, the hormones have been very helpful.  Not a perfect solution, but helpful.  My noise sensitivity is gone, I only get one headache a month these days, and it resembles a really bad tension headache more than an actual migraine.  Much better than things had been for several months preceding my foray into the wellness dr. world.

But! (I think I blogged about this?) I was getting fed up with the Dr.’s office.  When they lost my records and lied to my face about it all, and then I called them on it and they tried to cover it up with more crap, I was pretty much done.  So, as I think I’ve previously said, I set up an appointment with a wellness/anti-aging Dr. back home.

You guys!  I literally cried in his office. I mean, I didn’t bawl and carry on or anything, but the man had no Kleenex handy so he gave me a paper towel to wipe my nose.  Because?  When I told him about the migraines and the food sensitivities, he said, “You know, there is testing we can do to try to figure out all of your food issues.  Would you like to do that?”

Dude!  I have been reading about this kind of testing off and on for years, and had Dr.s tell me it’s a bunch of crap since my reactions aren’t of the rashy, anaphylactic, immediate (IgE) type.  THOSE kinds of allergies are simple to test for, but my kind of reactions, the delayed (IgG) type?  Different story.  The thing is, the testing is just a simple blood draw.  It’s really not complicated.  It’s just the validity of the test results that many Dr.s question.  I understand some of their issues with the testing, but still . . . when you’ve been dealing with food sensitivities that cause crippling migraines for nearly half your life, it’s nice to find a Dr. who wants to get to the bottom of it.  It even brings a tear to your eye.

My Dr. here in Canada South?  When I told her about the food issues?  She just gave me hormones and didn’t think twice about the food, or the health of my gut (ooo, aren’t you glad I’m talking about my intestines now?) or trying to heal that mess.  But this new doc?  That is his top priority.  Oh, he’s keeping me on hormones (though changing my dosing to cyclical rather than static) (which I figured is what I should have been doing anyway, but the other doc, I think, was just more interested in selling me the hormones and making extra fun money), but he is also putting me on some detox supplements and, when we get the IgG test results back from the lab, an elimination diet.  *SNORT*  The past decade and a half of my life have been one huge elimination diet, but whatever.  He seems to think that we can possibly get it all figured out to the point that we could actually heal me.  I don’t know if I have that much faith in it, but it would be nice, so I’m willing to give it a try.

Either way, the new doc spent three and a half hours talking with me last Friday.  In the past several months I haven’t spent more than a half hour total with the doctor here.  So I’d say it was worth the 4.5 hour drive down to his office.

In addition to doing the internal detox stuff he’s putting me on, I’m changing my skin care (this is not something he told me to do, just something I am doing).  I have known I should do this for a long time because the skin care products I use, as much as I like them, are full of parabens and other chemical crap.  I’ve probably taken 20 years off of my life trying to take 10 years off of my face.  So I’m switching to more natural (which, of course, equates to more expensive) products.  I’m hoping to detox my body of all the crap and toxins that I can.  Can’t wait to get it all started.

My First Catholic Funeral

While I was down home for my Dr. appointment, I wound up staying for a few extra days since my aunt died.

Can I just take a moment here to say what total troopers my kids were through all of this?  Between the 4.5 hour drive home, then, a couple days later, the 3.5 hour drive to my parents’ hometown for the funeral, then the 4.5-hour-turned-into-6.5-hour drive back to Canada South, with a dive of a hotel, a funeral, and a stressed-out, back-spasmming, grumpy mom thrown in – they were fantastic!

While we were in town for the funeral we went to a certain deli for lunch.  Oh my word, people!  You would love this deli.  The sandwiches are HUGE.  If I could eat the bread mine came on, it would have made at least two meals, and I got a small gyro.  I got two sandwiches for five kids to share, and it fed all of them lunch and some of them dinner.  This deli is pure awesomeness.  I’d tell you the name, except I know they are specific to that location so: A. I’d be divulging more information than I am comfortable with on my blog; B. You couldn’t find one in your town, anyway; and C. The last time I googled the name of the deli to find out if they were a chain, or were expanding, or whatever, all of my search results came up in Arabic or something, so I’m probably already on a government watch list for sponsoring terror. 

My aunt was Catholic, though I don’t think I ever actually heard her say a kind word about the Catholic church, so her funeral was the full Mass thing.  I’ve only ever been to one other full Mass thing, a wedding, so I feared for my children’s ability to keep the circus-that-is-us reigned in for that long.  Luckily, other than my deceased aunt, there were only about half a dozen other Catholics in attendance, so the Communion part went lickity-split (seriously, started and finished while I had Midge out for a potty break).  The whole turning to the people closest to you and shaking their hand and/or giving them a message of peace is always a little awkward for me, and I thought my kids were going to have uncontrollable fits of giggling when I shook their hands, but I didn’t know what else to do.  Other than that, what is there to say?  It was a funeral.  Never the happiest of occasions.

At least there was no applause, nor was there cheering, unlike a recent televised memorial service.  I’ll admit, I only saw about the last five or ten minutes of that one, but what was up with all the applause and cheering?  For the love, people!  Can you imagine being the mother of that nine-year-old girl, or the fiancé of the 30-year-old aid, or anyone else related to anyone who was killed, and having all of those people clapping and cheering all around you at the memorial service?  Okay, I don’t know which of the relatives were actually there, but hopefully you get the point.   I was appalled.

Speaking of Things Involving Politicians

For days now (literally, since the day after the shooting) I’ve had a post for the political blog running through my head.  The working title is, Are Liberals Too Stupid for Metaphor?  But I’ve been too busy to write it.  By the time I finally get around to it, it will probably be pointless, so I’ll just sum it up here:  If you’ve ever said, “Aim high!” or “Shoot for the moon,” or “It was a shot in the dark,” then you are obviously a perpetuator of violent rhetoric and vitriol.  You are also invited to join my club.  Annual dues are reasonable and you’ll get a membership card which entitles you to a photocopied page of my Holman and Harmon Handbook to Literature (it will be the page with the definition of metaphor).

Anyway, if I write that post now, it will just look like I’m copying the likes of Michelle and Ann Coulter.  Hmm . . . all of us coming up with this metaphor thing . . . is it a conspiracy or just common sense?

Reading Material

I am desperate for something good to read.  Don’t get me wrong, I have stacks of books that I have yet to read, but I don’t feel like getting bogged down in something I might not like.  I started Uncle Tom’s Cabin (right, how did I make it through college with an English major and never read this book?); but I got to the part where the mother finds out the master has signed the papers to sell her child, so she is running away with him and . . . I stopped.  A~ recently read this book and said she thinks it is the best book she has ever read (which is really saying something) even though it is sad. 

What can I say?  It’s January.  The days are short, the nights are long, and even my 5,000 IUs of vitamin D haven’t gotten my levels up to where they should be.  I can’t do sad right now.

I’m thinking of re-reading the whole Harry Potter series, but am open to suggestions.  I haven’t read an entire novel in months.  How sad is that.  Oh, and THANK YOU Kathleen for the book you sent me.  But is it sad?  I can handle tragic, just not running-for-her-life-with-her-little-child sad.

*GASP* Just hit with a bit of personal insight.  Moving on . . .

Actually, I’m Out

Yep, I think that’s it.  Unless you care to hear about my back spasms that wouldn’t go away until I could get home and sleep in my own bed, or the cold McH and I are both coming down with, or my (possibly irrational) fear that bedbugs infested our luggage in the hotel, (You know how some people steal hotel towels? I could have easily stolen a shower knob since it kept leaping off the wall and all), or our upcoming vacation to Florida.

Oh, yes!  We are finally going to take a Florida vacation!  In February!  I’m thinking it should be covered by insurance since it will undoubtedly help my low, low vitamin D levels.  But our insurance is pretty crappy anyway.

What are the chances butterbeer will be approved for my upcoming detox plan?

Tewt the Newt thinks not.

21 thoughts on “A Thousand Posts Squished Into One . . . . . . . . . . . Maybe

  1. 1. I’m going to give you a hearty “Wow! What a post!” My posts are the ones that leave readers thinking, “Wow! How does one blather so much about nothing of any import?” Not yours.

    2. I’m really sold on the whole anti-aging/bio-identical thing. You, my own internet research, and Suzanne Somers (of all people- I never would have thought I’d be taking her health advice seriously) have all convinced me that this is something I really need to explore. I have way too many health issues for a woman of only 44. I feel 85. It’s time to do something. I just hope I can find an anti-aging doc in Redneck Central and that I could even afford to go, if there is one.

    3. I am also on the hunt for new, interesting books. I usually just reread my old standbys, but I want something different. If I read Jane Eyre one more time, I’m going to dream that I’m sleeping upon the shoulder of my dead friend Helen. I had to buy a new copy of Mansfield Park because the old one was just shot (whoops, I said shot! Violent rhetoric!). Now I don’t like the new one because it just doesn’t “feel” right. The print is different, etc.- it just doesn’t seem like my book. And I’m sick of falling back on the Twilight series when I’m out of books. So, if you get any good suggestions, pass them along to me, please!

    4. I also have irrational fears of bedbugs. Like to the point of being a little crazy. I imagine them jumping onto my arms and legs in movie theaters, restaurants… everywhere, really. But, I’m a little strange, so… there you go.

    5. A Florida vacay sounds awesome!!! Hope it’s a blast!

    6. What is butterbeer?

    7. Sorry to leave such a long comment on your blog.

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  2. I vote…lots of blathering, but not boring!
    I want a deli sandwich now.
    Is Wovel paying you?
    I recently read the “Hunger Games” series and just WOW. But not for the faint of heart.

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  3. Would love to read your liberals/metaphor blog post. But I have a feeling my comment would be this: it isn’t the liberals that are too stupid. it’s the crazies. And the crazies are the ones who get sucked into extremism and use metaphor to justify their crazy plans and then carry out those plans. That has been true of all sorts of metaphor including things like rap music and heavy metal. And using guns as metaphor for, say, “voting”. And what is the point of metaphor? Can we not just say what we mean and save the “creativity” for our wardrobe or something? Just sayin’. So that is likely to be my response without even reading your post but maybe not 🙂

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  4. Nancy

    Glad you got home safely, but sorry to hear you’re coming down with “the cold.” Double up on your vitamin D. Oh, and Uncle Bob said he, Shelley, and Susan all have an intestinal virus today. Fair warning.

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  5. I left a big ol’ comment on this post, but something happened I guess and it disappeared. Mostly, it just said:
    Your posts are never boring
    I’m the one who does the blathering about nothing important
    I’m totally on board with the whole bio-identical hormone thing- I’m reading that Suzanne Somers book you mentioned a few posts ago and hoping to find a doc around here in Redneck Central
    I am also wanting suggestions for good books to read, as I’m sick of rereading all mine
    The Florida vacay sounds awesome- Have fun!
    And I don’t know what butterbeer is.
    That’s it in a nutshell.

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  6. Did your new nose non-sensitivity make it through the incense part of the funeral mass? My kids had their first incense experience in Nov. & eldest could hardly contain his horror at the smell.

    As for books. I’m looking for suggestions too. I finished Unbroken by Laura Hildenbrand & it’s really good. Kind of a tense read but a great story. I also really liked Room by Emma Donoghue. It does involve a rather large crisis for a mom & her son so maybe not what you’re looking for. I just finished The Wave by Susan Casey last week & it was good, although you won’t like the Al Gore aspects of the book. The surfing parts were intriguing though.

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  7. Have you ever read anything by Christopher Moore? His most famous novel is a book called “Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff.” Yes, this is a book by a humorous writer about the life of Christ, and yes there are swear words in it. (Christ never swears in the book, by the way. Just the people around him.) The author is himself a Buddhist, but his afterward about the book explains his thought process. (You should probably get this from the library, because people either love or hate this book, so if you hate it, I would hate for you to have spent $12.) (My mother (a clergy person) loves this book. There are five clergy persons at her church. Of them, two are in the “love this book” camp and three are in the “hate this book” camp.) His other books are also worth reading (in my opinion, even if you fall into the “I hate Lamb” camp – A Dirty Job, The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, Island of the Sequined Love Nun and The Supidest Angel are my favorites.

    Have you read ROOM by Emma Donahugh? Again, people either seem to be in the “love it” or “hate it” camp. I thought it was interesting, but disturbing.

    If you are in the mood for silly fun mysteries, I am loving the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich.

    I am also reading a book right now called “Special Topics in Calamity Physics” – which is neither a text book, nor about Physics. It’s a murder mystery, I think, although so far I’m not sure. I do like it, though.

    Dave Barry’s two humorous fiction books alway brighten my day: Big Trouble and Tricky Business.

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  8. Wow, I liked it! Don’t need the wovel, though. Thankfully, the one bit severe weather we haven’t had lately is snow. *shudder* Books, there are lots of good ones. Recently I’ve read The Master and Margarita (really interesting, sort of intense, but definitely NOT sad), Pride and Prejudice, Last Chance to See by Douglas Adams (he follows a biologist around the world to search for extremely critically endangered critters), The Mill on the Floss (kind of sad the last few pages, it’s more like the wrong ending was tacked on…), Middlemarch, Austerlitz (autobiographical? I can’t figure it out.) And Anne Fadiman’s books of essays: At Large and At Small (but skip the last one…it’s heart-wrenching) and Ex Libris. That should keep you busy for a while.

    And, that’s REALLY exciting that the new dr. has a plan to actually CURE you. I know what it’s like to have no answers. I’m so happy for you.

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  9. melissa

    I second your other commentor’s recommendation of “Unbroken;” it just captivated me from start to finish and I’m NOT a non-fiction reader (I can probably count the non-fiction books I’ve read (outside of school) on both hands). I also second all of G’s recommendations. Also…hmm…did you ever read Chiam Potok’s My Name is Asher Lev? One of my top three favorite books of all time.

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  10. I second Lawmommy, Stephanie Plum novels are funny and I am literally stalking Janet Evanovich’s website for a release date of the next one, my guess is June 21st, then I will preorder and stalk the mail man.

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  11. Christina

    I want a Wovel. And I’m not even the one who usually does the shoveling.

    Awesome about the doc. I’m looking forward to reading about how much better you are feeling in the next few months. 🙂

    Ummm… books? I’ve been reading Karen Kingsbury’s stuff, which is Christian fluff. It’s really not great writing, but it’s sort of like watching a soap. You know it isn’t quality, but still it’s addicting. Also have you ever read Jan Karon’s Mitford novels? *Love* them. And she has a new one that just came out in I think December.

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  12. Christina

    PS. Don’t get me started on this past week and politics. I might accidentally use a word that sounds like a metaphor for something un-PC and then they’d have to haul me away to be re-educated. Paranoid? Me? Nah.

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  13. Well, I’m getting ready to read ” The Framework for Understanding Poverty” by Ruby Payne. Yes, I’m an exciting one, I tell ya’…
    Email me if your gang is going anywhere in the Panhandle of Florida. Although if you’re going in Feb. I doubt you are, but I’d love to get to meet you guys!

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  14. We have a snow blower yet no huge driveway. We usually go up and down the sidewalk, though, to make sure our mail lady has a break for a block or so. By “we” I mean “he”, I can not get the blasted thing to start and find manuvering it to almost as difficult. I’m thinking a Wovel sounds nice.

    Food issues, gah, I feel like I am going looney on it. I am starting to notice some odd sensitivites. If you have any web links, books I should read, or advice, send them my way. Between Liz (sugar, wheat, and artificials…we think, not tested on any) and my off and on headaches and acne (like a teenager acne…I’m past 30!)…well I could go on and on. I feel like I need more help and research in this area. Already done Nourishing Traditions, Gap Diet book (Gut and Phsycology? by Dr. Campbell) and a handfull of others. Sigh, it just feels too broad and too much. Especially without the support of a doctor or really much support at home from family as well. (Why a grandparent would load a kid up on junk food, not a treat…LOAD them up and then say how odd they acted is beyond me when they do it again and again.)

    Can not even go there on politics, rhetoric, metaphors…can not go there. I would love to see your post though and read your links when the kids will allow. I feel just awful for the families of the victims 😦

    Florida in Feb is a wonderful, wonderful thing. Sunshine, warmth, no snow…lots of Vit D 🙂 If you want any tips or have questions ask. We’ve been that way two to three tiems a year for the past 8 years. My mom is a Disney nut and when she says she will buy tickets and hotels how do you say no? And I highly doubt the butterbeer will be on the ok list, but if it is get the frozen as it’s much tastier frozen (too syrupy sweet unfrozen.) I could go on about Hogsmeade, it was a tad disappointing, but overall a great experience we look forward to doing again.

    Rambling, that was a bunch of rambling. Your post not so much, it was broken into logical topics with complete sentences and good grammer. For some reason my girls decided the last 30 minutes it took to write this was the time to interrupt, interject, ask, etc. etc. Oh yeah, and the dog needed to go out, lol. Never a dull day here 🙂 I would go correct everything but I might never get it sent.

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  15. Kathleen

    While I’m always thrilled to read your blog, this week was special – am I infamous now? yes, The Tenth Wife is tragic, if only because it is so close to NF (kind of like Little Bee, if you haven’t read that yet)…for a more positive world view, read more Rick Riordan or the Fablehaven series – great youth fiction, not quite as long as HP, but equally action- and moral-filled. Then there’s always Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom if you want heft. Equally hefty is Keith Richards’ Life (which reads like fiction), also action and moral-filled, just with a twist…Relax and save your energy for Disneyworld, you’re going to need it. Happy January – There is Sunshine in My World Today.

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  16. Speaking of florida, and rambling, after reading all the other comments: I second the Suzanne Collins’ Hunger Games trilogy; Kate & I both loved them, dark as they are…vs. Carl Hiasan (Hiassen?)’s series of florida novels, all a little on the tree-hugger side, but too funny – I’ll send you some…or reread The Yearling, Witch of Blackbird Pond, Scott O’Dells books. I’m working my way down the Newberry Medal list, and some of them are HARD! hardly juvenile fiction, actually.

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  17. I am glad you found a doctor who can help. Even happier that you are heading to Florida. Fun! Books…I just finished Girl with A Dragon Tatoo. Eh. Have you read Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet? That was my fav read this summer. That and The Help, but I read that a while ago so I assume most have read it by now.

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  18. Christa Graham

    About the natural skin care products. For a while, I used Dr. Haschka (sp?), which I loved, but just couldn’t afford. About a year ago, I ran across a blog that suggested cleaning your face with olive oil and castor oil. Sounds crazy, especially if you’re acne-prone, like I am (even at 40). But honestly, my skin has never looked better. Check out http://www.simplemom.net. I think the title of that article is the oil cleansing method. It’s listed under her most popular blog entries. She tells you there why it works and in what proportions to mix it. Saves me A LOT of money. My 16 year old daughter (who has acne) even has great results from using this to clean her face. Hope this helps.

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  19. I recently finished the Hunger Games series and couldn’t put it down.

    It sounds like you are going to Universal Florida? If so…if you stay at one of the Universal resorts, your room key acts as a “fast pass” to most of the rides in both parks (Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure). It is the BEST way to experience the parks!

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