First, let me just say I’m not looking for pity. My life, like anyone else’s, has had it’s ups and downs. And really? Overall? I can’t complain.
I mean, sure, 2008 and 2009 were really, really sucky years. 2005 was also pretty stressful, and a lot of it spilled over into 2006. Not a whole lot of good came out of 1994, and I wasn’t thrilled with 1995 that much either (though I did start dating my husband then, so it wasn’t all bad). The second half of 1991 wasn’t great, and now that I’m really thinking about it, 1988 was rather miserable, and 1983 was a year I wish I could have skipped. But other than that? I really don’t have much to complain about.
And as far as my food sensitivities go? This is obviously not the worst thing that could happen to anyone, so I’m not walking around all “Woe is me! Woe is me!”
However, while knowing that a million worse things could be wrong makes it all less traumatic (because, really, it’s not traumatic), it doesn’t make it less frustrating.
So forgive me if I whine for just a minute.
I got my Official Packet from the lab. Here are my test results (you can skip them if you don’t really care and go straight to the last paragraph or two where I talk about going to Orlando in a week):
Yeah, I’m going to miss those lima beans. NOT.
At first it didn’t seem all that bad to me. I mean, I’ve been cutting foods out for a long time now, so what’s the big deal, right?
But then I also got the rotation part of the diet:
Look at the foods I can have on day one (I just rotate through this four-day cycle for about 6 months). Let’s just focus on day one for a minute. How many different recipes can you come up with using only day one foods. Harrumph. Last night? I found one. I found one, and I had to omit at least half the ingredients in it, and then? Then I realized it called for olive oil, and olives are a day four food. That’s when I went through each day and jotted down the oils I’ll be able to use.
Now, if I had to live off of all the ingredients listed in all four days and I could mix and match them as I see fit, I would have no problem, NO problem, with this. But not being able to mix and match them? Holy hell.
And I’m still not convinced that I can eat soy. I need to do some investigating to see what other common denominators are in soy products. I think I figured out the cashew problem, however. The next time you’re looking at nuts (minds out of the gutter people), pick up a can or bag of cashews and look at the ingredients: cashews, peanut oil. Seriously. So I need to find raw cashews and see how that works.
Anyway, I also was reading the ingredients in my multivitamin and realized I’m going to have to stop taking it because it has plant based ingredients like carrot and raspberry and other things that I’m not supposed to ingest on a daily basis. I’m also going to have to quite my fish oil supplements because, no matter what fish they’re made out of, I can’t have any of them every day. Maybe I’ll switch to krill oil? I realize having anything everyday kind of defeats the purpose of the rotation concept, but since they didn’t test for krill and I’m not going to be eating it at all . . .
Anyway, in case you have nothing else going on in your life (riiiight), feel free to take on the challenge of developing or finding a recipe for me for one or more of those days. I know I’ll come up with something for every day, but my fear is that I won’t be able to come up with more than one or two things for each day and it will all be . . . boring. And nutritionally unbalanced.
Now for the fun stuff: 6 DAYS! We leave for Orlando in six days! Alas, as much as I’d like to stay there for a month, we are not made out of money and will only be there for a week. So, as we sit here on day 6 of the countdown, I have: three kids with a head cold, one puking, one with a headache and low-grade fever, and one with a chronic cough. Yeah, that adds up to six, which means one of them has more than one thing going on. Our hope is that they will all be better by the weekend. Our plan is to go even if they aren’t. They insist that we go even if they aren’t. So then our hope is that we parental units don’t come down with it all the day before we are supposed to leave.
Would it be inappropriate to just ask all my kids to lick my face right now? Right now so that I can get it and be on the mend before we leave?
Tewt the Newt is looking for a healing spell.