It looks like this outside right now:
So I woke up that lazy groundhog that’s been freeloading around here for far too long . . .
. . . He took one look out the window and began muttering about how there was no frappin’ way he was going to go out there and freeze his . . . umm . . . groundhogness off, then he kinda growled a few other choice words at me before starting his obscenity laden tirade about how even a chimney sweep could tell you nobody could see their shadow in that mess anyway, so why the hell bother?
Mary Poppins he is not.
And you know what? I don’t need it. I have a teenager in the house already. So after years of his uppitiness, insolence, and verbal abuse . . . well, I’d had enough.
I booted him out the door and told him he could do his damn job or find somebody else to put up with his crap.
He’s now having a bit of a pout on the garden wall, and I can tell you for a fact that there is no shadow.
So Phullabaloney Fill’s official prediction, whether he likes it or not, is that spring will be here early.
Almost makes the ugliness of this morning worth it.
By now we all know that that Punxsutawney dude saw his shadow, dooming us to six more weeks of winter.
But we also all know that we don’t care what he says. We know the real authority on such manners is actually Phullabaloney Fill, the adoption, weather, and whateverelse predicting groundhog.
So I got him out of bed this morning and reminded him that today is his BIG DAY (since there hasn’t been much adoption predicting to do as of late). To say he was less than thrilled would be putting it mildly.
He slurred something about the weather forecast and the outdoors not being fit for man nor beast. Then there was some bellowing about it being to frapping cold, and I couldn’t make him $#%&! go out.
And then, after actually getting him out of his room . . .
So I guess we’re just going to have to take the word of that other groundhog this year.
And George, if you’re out there, no stuffed groundhogs were hurt in the filming of this post.
First, let’s just get it out of the way:
Maybe were he not so under-employed these days, Mr. Fill would have been amenable to emerging in the front yard, which has a nice big shadow from the house, rather than the backyard which is bathed in morning light and peed-on snow (the dogs, people, not the husband and kids, and certainly not me). But Mr. Fill was being all crotchety and hell-bent on maintaining his groundhoged integrity.
“It’s ^&*#&#@ sunny everywhere out there!” he said. “I’m not going to hide the *#&#!*@ truth behind some artificially manufactured &$*%!@ shadow!”
He is so lovely that way. Talk about raining on my parade (or my mental health).
Now for the Mormon Monday portion of today’s mish mash:
I have been asked to speak in church this coming Sunday. They were sure to point out that I would be the first speaker this time, not the last, necessitating that stay within my 10 minute time limit, so I’m not sure if they appreciated my 30-minute clean up talk the last time or were irritated by it. Generally they appreciate clean up speakers who can fill time as needed because that saves them from having to improvise, but maybe these guys like to improvise for the last 20 minutes of church. Who knows?
Anyway, I’ve been asked to speak for 10 minutes about the importance of love at home. I pretty much have it all written in my head already, but I’m curious to hear from you, my non-LDS readers. If you were asked to talk about the importance of love at home, what would you say? Clog my comments, I don’t mind.
Okay, so not actually very Mormon-Mondayish since I’m asking for your thoughts rather than sharing some with you. Maybe I’ll post the talk after I’ve actually put it down on paper.
Now for Something Completely Different
I keep thinking I’m going to unsubscribe from the adoption Yahoo groups, but I haven’t. I don’t know why. I mean, I skim through the daily digests, I never comment on any of them, and I generally find them either boring or contentious, yet I can’t bring myself to unsubscribe. I guess it is because they have been helpful in the past and I don’t want to miss out in case something pertinent or helpful comes up again in the future.
So, bottom line, I just skim and delete and move on with my day.
But recently? Recently there has been a discussion about co-sleeping. I haven’t read the entire thread, but I’ve read enough to once again be amazed at how quick people are to be critical of something with which they have no personal experience.
As a mother of five, I have co-slept with some of my children and not with others. I have watched and listened and tried to be in tune with each of their needs, as well as my own needs, and made the decision based on that. The children who did co-sleep with us were out of our bed by the time they were two years old, or sooner.
To cart blanche say that co-sleeping leads to kids being in their parents’ bed for the next five years, or next ten years, or whatever, is to give advice based on faulty logic. If one person has co-slept and their child is still in their bed eight years later, that does not mean every child will be.
And? Quite frankly, co-sleeping does not cause older children to regularly sleep in their parents’ bed. Spineless parenting or the desire to have that older child in your bed do.
When babies are babies they don’t understand much about the world around them and we, even as parents, can’t explain it to them. They don’t have the skills necessary to understand what we are saying. So if one of my babies needs the extra comfort of being in bed with me, I let them sleep in bed with me. But by the time they are two? All of my kids have had a pretty good mastery of the English language (at least on a receptive level) by the time they were two, so I could say, “Sorry, I know you want to be in my bed, but you don’t need to be in my bed any more. I will still be here, and I will get you out of your bed in the morning. You will be fine here in your bed.”
Do they like hearing that? Are they “ready” to hear that? No. But they are “ready enough.”
Are any of us ever “ready” for the life lessons that bring growth? No, not really. They are usually painful and something we want to avoid no matter how old we are. But when they come, we are generally “ready enough” to somehow get through them.
I am not saying everyone should co-sleep. I don’t believe that is the case, nor do I care what you or the next mom decides to do. I do, however, take umbrage at the idea that, just because one mother can’t get her school-aged child out of her bed, all co-sleeping families are setting themselves up for that type of situation.
If you want your kid in bed that long, fine. More power to you, I guess.
If you think your baby would be better off sleeping in your bed now but you are worried about him/her still being there a decade from now? Grow a pair and be the parent. If it is best for your baby now, and you want to co-sleep now, do it now. But in a year or two or three? When you know the child doesn’t need to be there, and can understand what you are saying to him/her, even if s/he doesn’t like what s/he is hearing? Be the parent. Tell the child the way it is going to be and then make. it. be. that. way. It really isn’t that difficult.
Our society has been T. Barry Brazalton-ized. Remember the Pampers commercials he used to do? “Let it be your child’s decision!” or whatever it was he used to say. The commercial was for a new XXXXXL sized diapers, so it was really beneficial for the Pampers people to have us all believe that it’s okay for five-year-olds to still be running around in diapers while they try to “decide” they are “ready.”
You know what? Potty training, like other growth experiences, is often something the child is “ready enough” to do, but won’t want to do. We do it anyway. Had I let some of my kids “decide” when they were “ready” they would still be in diapers. Let’s face it, is is much more convenient for a child to just wet his/her pants than it is to stop what s/he is doing and run to the bathroom.
There is a difference, of course, between signs of “readiness” and a kid deciding s/he is “ready.” Signs of readiness indicate a child is ready to learn the art of being potty-trained, whether they want to or not. A child deciding s/he is ready means you don’t make them learn until they want to learn, which, quite frankly, is insane. The same applies to co-sleeping. There are signs of readiness, which does not mean a child thinks s/he is actually ready to leave the parental bed. But, just like the mother bird, we push them out of the nest anyway. That is how they learn to fly, or sleep on their own.
So, to sum up, please don’t take co-sleeping advice from people who know someone who know someone who know someone who has a 15-year-old kid still sleeping in their bed all because they co-slept when the child was a baby.
Do what you feel is best for you and your baby now. And? While you’re at it? Grow a spine for later.
And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt hates Phullabaloney Fill.
Weeks ago now, Dianna made a polite, simple request of Mr. Fill:
Could you please ask Phil about the chances of me getting hubby to go for child #4 through an as-yet-unnamed-country-but-definitely-our-previous-adoption-agency??? He usually tries to please me in all things (an excellent quality in a husband) but is being peculiarly stubborn about things like retirement and college funds. I’m starting to be concerned…
Now, you’d think after all his hullabaloo over being forgotten and not appreciated, blah, blah, blah, he would have jumped right on that request, wouldn’t you? Well, I would. But he didn’t.
Today, however, I made a little hullabaloo of my own and reminded him of his public and his responsibilities, and of that fact that if he wants to keep his job he has to do his job. He seems to be losing sight of that principal. I think he’s been in the U.S. too long now.
Anyway, after telling him to shape up or ship out, and listening to his tirade about how a bloke can’t catch a *#%!!@ break, I got him to come out of his house.
As you can clearly see, there is no shadow, which is good news for Dianna. Yay!!!!!
However, in the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that the rules were broken and Phullabaloney Fill did not come out of his house at the appointed 11 a.m. hour, but, rather, more like the 6 p.m. hour. Had he come out at the proper time, there would have been a big old shadow. So, in short, no promises as to the accuracy of said prediction.
I was explaining to Phullabaloney that this behavior really is unacceptable when he interrupted me with an expletive-filled sob story about how he had been ignored for so long that he began pursuing other interests in life, and I have no right to expect him to suddenly change his schedule so that he can rise early to exit his abode for a public that doesn’t really care about him anyway.
He told me he’s trying to figure out a way to keep his job and continue his late nights clubbing with his “mates.”
The mind reels.
I asked him who exactly these mates are, and where exactly they go clubbing around here. I mean, for pete’s sake, there isn’t even a Target within a 40 mile radius, and the groundhog is clubbing? He acted like he was about to explain all of this to me, but then his late night apparently got the best of him.
The dog snorffling and slobbering finally revived him, so I once again pressed Mr. Fill about his new friends and hobby. Rather than answer me, however, he just kind of danced his way back into his hut while humming a little tune.
It all mysteriously resembled “The Boot Scootin’ Boogie,” so I think maybe he’s actually country line dancing more than he is clubbing. Obviously he’s not nearly as worldly as he like to think he is.
My my guess is Mr. Fill and some of the local raccoons are sneaking in to the Auto Body/Shoe Repair shop after hours and cranking the radio; but who knows?
If you have a request, don’t be afraid to ask. I’ll drag him out on time next time.
And George . . .
Well, it always makes me smile to know that I made someone else smile. And it just makes my day to know that I made someone spew something all over a keyboard (as long as they aren’t spewing one of those unmentionable slushies that some deranged soul was looking for on my blog), so thank you Laura for nominating me for that very reason. Umm, that would be the spewing reason, not the slushie reason. Just wanted to make that clear.
Really, I don’t know that I fit all of the characteristics to be a recipient of the Smile Award, but maybe since I’ve got number three nailed it makes up for my other shortcomings.
On to the technical stuff before I share the love:
Characteristics for the Smile Award:
1. Must display a cheerful attitude.
2. Must love one another.
3. Must make mistakes.
4. Must learn from others.
5. Must be a positive contributor to blog world.
6. Must love life.
7. Must love kids.
These are the rules for The Smile Award.
1. The recipient must link back the the award’s creator
2. You must post these rules if you receive the award.
3. You must chose 5 people to receive the award after receiving it yourself.
4. You must fit the characteristics of the recipient of the award, as posted by Mere.
5. You must post the characteristics of a recipient.
6. You must create a post sharing your win with others.
7. You must thank your giver.
First, I am going to nominate Lilola because I don’t think I have ever seen her without a smile on her face and a cheerful attitude in her countenance. Oooo . . . like that word? Countenance? I’m getting all churchy on you. Lilola always has a song in her heart, or mind, or mouth, which tells you right there that she loves life.
Second, I am nominating The Mother of Terrifying Space Monkeys. I know her real name, but I don’t think she uses it on her blog, so you’ll just have to go see if you can figure it our for yourself. She has just recently started blogging and is definitely a positive contributor. And? She has four boys under the age of . . . 6? I think her oldest is 6 now. I. am. losing it. At any rate, obviously she loves kids. Further evidence that she loves life and kids: she just survived 48 hours without electricity AND without offing anyone. Also? (how many question marks can I use?) she was babysitting the neighbor’s kids during the blackout (so the neighbor could go to the hospital after being stabbed by a fallen evergreen — those trees don’t like being knocked down by hurricanes that have no business being that far inland). And the service I have seen her give over the years! Yep, she’s got that loving others thing down pat
Now here is where I should say Third, but I have just been visiting my Google Reader account and see that I was also nominated by Christina, who already nominated my Third. So, thank you to Chris as well (umm, for nominating me, not for stealing my Third)! If Mr. Fill is right about your house, I am going to hold you to that promise to kiss him. It has been a while since I’ve been to VA anyway, so I will drive him there myself just to get a picture of you planting one on him. And I think I’m not alone in the blogging world when I say, “I want to see some tongue.”
Third, third, third. Well, Chris already nominated Stacy and Gretchen, who were way up there on my list, but that’s okay! I read over a hundred blogs (well, sometimes I have to skim, sorry) so there is no shortage of wonderful women from whom to pick. The trouble is narrowing it down.
Third, I am nominating Colleen because she is the mother of Quinn’s future wife. Right, right, I have no way of actually knowing that, so let’s be a little more realistic. Do you all read her blog? You should. Colleen makes me laugh. She has experienced some things that I just can’t imagine living through, but she has lived through them; not just endured them, but gone on to LIVE. I so admire that. I’ve never met her in person, but Colleen apparently has a fragillion friends who now read my blog (hi Colleen’s friends!) and a great, big family (will you adopt me? (wait, was that politically incorrect?) ) that always seems to be getting together for one big event or another. So, obviously, she meets the “love one another” requirement. And? (here I go with the question marks again) she is adopting. Who adopts a child if they don’t love kids? Who?
Fourth, I am nominating Valerie. I hope to be her when I grow up. I can say without reservation that she meets, in great abundance, every one of the required characteristics of Smile Award nominees (except for number three, but we’ll forgive her). She is a mom to five kids and the oldest one is . . . oh I do keep getting myself in trouble with this one, don’t I? Four? Shoot, shoot, shoot! Are the triplets older or younger than Tank Boy? I can’t remember now. And Evan is right around their age, and Josh is closer to Quinn’s age. That’s about all I’ve got rattling around my brain. Anyway, Valerie was going through the adoption process to get Evan and Josh at the same time I was going through the process for Quinn (though she got both of her boys home first!).
Fifth, well, fifth is a tie. Hey! I’ve been
skimming reading your blogs, and I know I’m not the only rule breaker out there! So I’m nominating FoodyMom, who thought the Vietnam shutdown was crashing in around her before she could get a referral but then, after she picked herself up by the bootstraps and prepared to move on (actually, did move on to a different blog) she and her husband got their referral! Love kids? I think so. Her posts are cheerful, one of her blogs makes me smile a lot, and I personally believe she is making a great contribution to the blog world. And . . . I am nominating Kweenmama. I haven’t been reading her blog long, but she is so obviously a loving, cheerful person, and I personally appreciate her contribution to the blog world as she talks about her family and the joys and challenges of being a wife and mom/step-mom. I know people who should be reading her blog.
Whew! That wasnt easy, but it was fun.
And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt has a great big smile on his face (even though the new dog is a spite pee-er).
Last week Christina asked if the Broccoli Guy West Coast House was going to sell soon.
Mr. Phullabaloney Fill jubilantly informed me that there was no frapping way he was going to sally forth from his cozy abode for this prediction, because any bloody nutter could see there would be no shadow this week.
He is actually enjoying the gray, gloomy, rainy weather, and was especially excited by the light fog this morning. He says it reminds him of home. God save the queen!
He’s never actually been to the UK, let alone hailed from that great nation, but I’ve found it better to just let crazy play things live out their delusions. And that has nothing to do with the fact that Blue Barb may or may not be continually stalking me.
Anyway, as we all know, no shadow means good news, so hang in there Chris! Real estate relief should be forthcoming.
And George, if you’re out there, Tewt the Newt is hiding from the doll with the knife.